Stanley the Tool

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Stanley the Tool
Race: Men
Tribe: The (nearly-lost) Plaid Tribe
Faction: Gobwin Knob
Class: Ruler (Overlord)
Special: Leadership, Arkenhammer,
Eyebook Username: OverLord1
Eyebook Sound: Quack


"Yeah, I hear you. We've had some setbacks. But the thing about a quest for the ultimate power in the world is that it's bound to turn out well."

Strengths: Giving Orders, Taming Dwagons, Knowing What He Wants

Weaknesses: Strategy, Critical Thinking, Human Resource Management

Proposed Canon

Stanley the Tool (originally "Stanley the Plaid") is the Ruler of the Plaid tribe. Also referred to by his enemies as Stanley the Worm.

Pop and early turns

Before the story started, Stanley started out as a piker-class infantry under the command of King Saline IV of the Plaid. Over his career, Stanley was promoted to a Warlord by Saline, found the Arkenhammer, tamed Dwagons, and was eventually promoted to the Chief Warlord and Heir Designate of Saline.Erf-b1-p079Same-site.PNG

Wanda contacted Stanley after hearing he found the Arkenhammer. Together they planned to attack Wanda's kingdom of Faq. Wanda had intended for Stanley to lose the battle so she could claim the Arkenhammer herself, but Stanley ultimately won and sacked the kingdom. Wanda and Faq's Foolamancer, Jack Snipe joined Stanley's side.Erf-b1-p147Same-site.PNG

At one point, Stanley took a number of the Plaid's casters, Sizemore Rockwell among them, on a special mission of undisclosed purpose; when Stanley's group returned to Gobwin Knob, they found that it had fallen to an attack from the Gobwins breaking their alliance. With the dwagons, casters, and the bonus from the Arkenhammer, Stanley easily retook the city and became the Ruler of Gobwin Knob.Erf-b1-p079Same-site.PNG Ansom believed that Stanley orchestrated this rebellion to come to power.Erf-b1-p034Same-site.PNG

Recent turns

With Wanda's encouragement, Stanley decided to start a quest for the other Arkentools.Erf-b1-p147Same-site.PNG The exact intention and course of this campaign is unknown, although it is mentioned that he attacked Transylvito faction, Elves and destroyed the Milquetoast Clan.Erf-b1-p034Same-site.PNG As a result of the campaign Stanley lost 10 of his 11 cities and all of his leadership corps.Erf-b1-p005Same-site.PNG
During the quest, an alliance formed with the aim to defeat Stanley, known as the Royal Crown Coalition.

Story: Chapter 1

Due to the croaking of Manpower the Temporary Stanley needed to choose a new chief warlord. His adviser, Wanda Firebaugh convinced him to summon the perfect warlordErf-b1-p005Same-site.PNG, who turned out to be Parson GottiErf-b1-p017Same-site.PNG.


  • Stanley managed to make his way from common infantry to Overlord, a very rare career advancement
  • He found one of the Arkentools, the Arkenhammer, and was attuned to it
  • He used the Arkenhammer to tame dwagons (and crack nuts, which sometimes turned into pigeons)
  • Since the events in Chapter 1, he has begun to rebuild his Dwagon army.


Sizemore Rockwell

In Book One, Stanley is aware of Sizemore's existence, but cannot be bothered to remember his name. Sizemore seems completely resigned to Stanley's abuse as he is to everything else. He perks up even at the brief acknowledgment Stanley gives him when he returns to Gobwin Knob. Sizemore does give Stanley a much-needed morale boost when he and Maggie remake the city of Gobwin Knob with a heavy Stanley Is The Man influence. Obviously, Stanley has no idea of this.

Wanda Firebaugh

Wanda generally believes Stanley to be a fool, but does believe that he has an important fate. She was subservient and loyal to him - In fact, Wanda was probably the creature Stanley trusted and respected most in the whole Erfworld - but secretly continued to play events to bring her closer to the Pliers.

She has used nookie to manipulate Stanley. This might explain her revealing outfits.

Since Wanda's attunement to the Arkenpliers she seems to be happy to go along with Stanley's orders as long as she can play with her Pliers and her personal army. Stanley feels somewhat insecure about this new balance of power.

Parson Gotti

Stanley is aware that Parson is the "Perfect Warlord", and is therefore capable of defeating vastly superior armies by devising radically innovative strategies. But despite this fact, he is deeply ambivalent about allowing Parson to act as Gobwin Knob's Chief Warlord. He knows he can't predict what Parson will do if he gives him the authority to act, but he suspects that while Parson will achieve victory, that victory will come at a higher price than Stanley wishes to pay. He is deeply unhappy that Wanda became attuned to the Arkenpliers as a consequence of Parson's first victory, and is likely to be even more unhappy if Parson's second victory allows Wanda to take control of most of Stanley's Dwagons. Parson dislikes Stanley, who reminds him of every bad boss he ever had in his old life on Earth. He has almost no respect for Stanley beyond his ability to kill him/get him killed. It was recently revealed in LIAB Text 44 that while Stanley recognizes how good a warlord Parson is, he also believes that were he to recognize subordinates it would cause them to slack in their duties. He does have a few complaints such as how expensive Parson's plans tend to be and the occasional mistakes that result from his inexperience.

Stanley is also struggling with his position. He has often commented that he was happiest when he could go out to tame dwagons, fight battles, rock out, and generally be an active part in the dangers of his side. As an Overlord he must avoid any dangerous active role while his subordinates do all the things he wishes he could do.

Jack Snipe

In Book One, Stanley valued Jack only as a foolamancer but could not be bothered to remember his name. When Stanley attempted to flee to Faq he took Jack to aid in his escape. Stanley became irritated when Jack failed to function properly as a foolamancer. For some reason, Jack seems intensely loyal to Stanley, refusing to turn sides when Jillian attacked Stanley.

Following the battle, Stanley seems to value Jack more, possibly because Jack saved his life in the conflict with Jillian and the ten Warlords of Transylvito. Stanley noted that he was "trying to get better about names", presumably as a result of the problems with Jack, and Jack saving his life in that battle. Stanley now attempts to refer to other units by their names and not their function.


The name of the Plaid tribe seems to be purposefully homophonic to "played", which would make Stanley's (and his tribe) original name an indicator of how much of a tool he really is.

Battle style

Stanley's preferred style is dance fighting. He has for this purpose an order of knights who also can dance fight, the Knights in Stanley's Service, who wear makeup and armor reminiscent of real life band KISS, and so far the only song they have been seen dance fighting to is indeed a KISS song. This is well known fact even in the alliance, and the forces of Transylvito prepared themselves for this tactic when they planned the trap in the choke point to FAQ, donning costumes reminiscent of the musical West Side Story and dance fighting to a modified version of the Jet theme song and the song "Cool".

Real World References

Stanley Hand Tools are a fairly widely known company of toolmakers ... albeit better known for knives than hammers...

Also, in the "Dead Poets' Society", Keating mentions "Stanley 'The Tool' Wilson".

Preceded by:
King Saline IV
Ruler of Gobwin Knob Succeeded by:

Preceded by:
Chief Warlord of Gobwin Knob Succeeded by:
Ensign Toast