Stanley the Tool
"Yeah, I hear you. We've had some setbacks. But the thing about a quest for the ultimate power in the world is that it's bound to turn out well."
Strengths: Giving Orders, Taming Dwagons, Knowing What He Wants
Weaknesses: Strategy, Critical Thinking, Human Resource Management
Pop and early turns
Before the story started, Stanley started out as a piker-class infantry under the command of King Saline IV of the Plaid. Over his career, Stanley was promoted to a Warlord by Saline, found the Arkenhammer, tamed Dwagons, and was eventually promoted to the Chief Warlord and Heir Designate of Saline.Erf-b1-p079
Wanda contacted Stanley after hearing he found the Arkenhammer. Together they planned to attack Wanda's kingdom of Faq. Wanda had intended for Stanley to lose the battle so she could claim the Arkenhammer herself, but Stanley ultimately won and sacked the kingdom. Wanda and Faq's Foolamancer, Jack Snipe joined Stanley's side.Erf-b1-p147
At one point, Stanley took a number of the Plaid's casters, Sizemore Rockwell among them, on a special mission of undisclosed purpose; when Stanley's group returned to Gobwin Knob, they found that it had fallen to an attack from the Gobwins breaking their alliance. With the dwagons, casters, and the bonus from the Arkenhammer, Stanley easily retook the city and became the Ruler of Gobwin Knob.Erf-b1-p079 Ansom believed that Stanley orchestrated this rebellion to come to power.Erf-b1-p034
With Wanda's encouragement, Stanley decided to start a quest for the other Arkentools.Erf-b1-p147 The exact intention and course of this campaign is unknown, although it is mentioned that he attacked Transylvito faction, Elves and destroyed the Milquetoast Clan.Erf-b1-p034
As a result of the campaign Stanley lost 10 of his 11 cities and all of his leadership corps.Erf-b1-p005
During the quest, an alliance formed with the aim to defeat Stanley, known as the Royal Crown Coalition.
Story: Chapter 1
Due to the croaking of Manpower the Temporary Stanley needed to choose a new chief warlord. His adviser, Wanda Firebaugh convinced him to summon the perfect warlordErf-b1-p005, who turned out to be Parson GottiErf-b1-p017.
- Stanley managed to make his way from common infantry to Overlord, a very rare career advancement
- He found one of the Arkentools, the Arkenhammer, and was attuned to it
- He used the Arkenhammer to tame dwagons (and crack nuts, which sometimes turned into pigeons)
- Since the events in Chapter 1, he has begun to rebuild his Dwagon army.
In Book One, Stanley is aware of Sizemore's existence, but cannot be bothered to remember his name. Sizemore seems completely resigned to Stanley's abuse as he is to everything else. He perks up even at the brief acknowledgment Stanley gives him when he returns to Gobwin Knob. Sizemore does give Stanley a much-needed morale boost when he and Maggie remake the city of Gobwin Knob with a heavy Stanley Is The Man influence. Obviously, Stanley has no idea of this.
Wanda generally believes Stanley to be a fool, but does believe that he has an important fate. She was subservient and loyal to him - In fact, Wanda was probably the creature Stanley trusted and respected most in the whole Erfworld - but secretly continued to play events to bring her closer to the Pliers.
Since Wanda's attunement to the Arkenpliers she seems to be happy to go along with Stanley's orders as long as she can play with her Pliers and her personal army. Stanley feels somewhat insecure about this new balance of power.
Stanley is aware that Parson is the "Perfect Warlord", and is therefore capable of defeating vastly superior armies by devising radically innovative strategies. But despite this fact, he is deeply ambivalent about allowing Parson to act as Gobwin Knob's Chief Warlord. He knows he can't predict what Parson will do if he gives him the authority to act, but he suspects that while Parson will achieve victory, that victory will come at a higher price than Stanley wishes to pay. He is deeply unhappy that Wanda became attuned to the Arkenpliers as a consequence of Parson's first victory, and is likely to be even more unhappy if Parson's second victory allows Wanda to take control of most of Stanley's Dwagons. Parson dislikes Stanley, who reminds him of every bad boss he ever had in his old life on Earth. He has almost no respect for Stanley beyond his ability to kill him/get him killed. It was recently revealed in LIAB Text 44 that while Stanley recognizes how good a warlord Parson is, he also believes that were he to recognize subordinates it would cause them to slack in their duties. He does have a few complaints such as how expensive Parson's plans tend to be and the occasional mistakes that result from his inexperience.
Stanley is also struggling with his position. He has often commented that he was happiest when he could go out to tame dwagons, fight battles, rock out, and generally be an active part in the dangers of his side. As an Overlord he must avoid any dangerous active role while his subordinates do all the things he wishes he could do.
The name of the Plaid tribe seems to be purposefully homophonic to "played", which would make Stanley's (and his tribe) original name an indicator of how much of a tool he really is.
Stanley's preferred style is dance fighting. He has for this purpose an order of knights who also can dance fight, the Knights in Stanley's Service, who wear makeup and armor reminiscent of real life band KISS, and so far the only song they have been seen dance fighting to is indeed a KISS song. This is well known fact even in the alliance, and the forces of Transylvito prepared themselves for this tactic when they planned the trap in the choke point to FAQ, donning costumes reminiscent of the musical West Side Story and dance fighting to a modified version of the Jet theme song and the song "Cool".
Real World References
Stanley Hand Tools are a fairly widely known company of toolmakers ... albeit better known for knives than hammers...
Also, in the "Dead Poets' Society", Keating mentions "Stanley 'The Tool' Wilson".
King Saline IV
|Ruler of Gobwin Knob||Succeeded by:|
|Chief Warlord of Gobwin Knob||Succeeded by:|