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Proposed Canon


Squashcourt is a Kingdom and one of the founding sides of the So-be-it Union. It has existed at least sixteen hundred turns, the time before that being spent in a state of near constant conflict with its neighbors Tapwater, Firstpost, and Protip. It is mentioned in WB2014_Lord_Crush_-_Part_1.

It is a Royal Capital Side, producing human Units, including Nobles and Royals.


The Capital of Squashcourt was the City of Squashcourt.






Main article: Erfworld Geography

Squashcourt is geographically hemmed in by a crowd of small sides, collectively comprising eight or nine little city sites among lakes and farms and grassy plains. It's surrounded by, and possibly in, a desert hex.

Squashcourt shares a border with Firstpost to the northwest. It borders Bullyclub to the south and Tapwater to the north. It also borders Protip.



Before the Union

Squashcourt warred with its neighbors Firstpost, Tapwater and Protip over control of eight or nine small city sites.

Union Conference

Sixteen hundred turns ago the four sides came together in the Union conference to try and hash out an Alliance to reduce conflict and allow them to prosper. King Scrofula sent Prince Racket to negotiate on his behalf. The conference was highly contentious and full of outbursts from the delegates. After a dozen turns they established the So-be-it Union, limiting the size of each side's army and binding them into mutual defense. It included provisions for the betrayal of a side. Thanks to the treaty Firstpost (and the union as a whole) have had a long time of prosperity.

Bullyclub would twice interrupt the peace brought by the So-Be-It Union by warring with it. The majority of the action taking place in Squashcourt due to sharing a border with Bullyclub to the south. Both wars were unprofitable for all involved and ended in armistices.

Betrayal of the Union

At some point King Scrofula and Lord Maglite of Bullyclub started corresponding and King Scrofula came to regard him as a trusted friend. (Whether this was actually the case or if Maglite was merely using Scrofula is unknown). They developed a plan to destroy the So-Be-It Union by allying and convincing one of the three sides remaining in the union to also ally or stay neutral. Dunkin McClown believes that Prince Racket would have objected to the plan as a ploy by Bullyclub to destroy the union from within before destroying Squashcourt. Dunkin speculated that King Scrofula sent Prince Racket alone to the wilderness fifty turns ago and disbanded him rather than the death by wild nabs that Scrofula reported.WB2014 Lord Crush - Part 3

Whether he was croaked or disbanded, without Prince Racket's tactical and logistical skills King Scrofula felt vulnerable. After receiving a letter of condolence from Lord Crush of Firstpost, a close friend of the late prince who both thought highly of each other, Scrofula decided to attempt to turn him to Squashcourt. He invited Lord Crush to a trade negotiation and threatened that if he didn't turn Firstpost might be destroyed, whereas if he convinced Queen Post to ally or stay neutral with Bullyclub the side would be spared.

War with Union

Lord Crush refused and was taken prisoner. He devised a double-cross of Bullyclub with the help of Dunkin McClown, who was disbanded for his "betrayal." However when Prince Axe Bodyspray found the plan, Lord Crush managed to convince him to stay loyal to the union, and through him King Scrofula. The proceeded to feign losing badly to Tapwater (which didn't want to be part of the plan) and once Bullyclub decided to lose patience and move the bulk of its forces to attack Tapwater, wiping out the majority of their army, Lord Crush's plan was put in motion. They double crossed Bullyclub and captured their units garrisoned in Squashcourt cities, effectively cutting off their leadership and a large part of their forces.

Firstpost, which had moved its army unobserved through Squashcourt, carried out a sneak attack capturing several Bullyclub cities and razing them.

After the War

Queen Post negotiated the restoration of the Union, and lobbied to allow Squashcourt back in (it helped that they looked halfway heroic by saving Tapwater from destruction). King Scrofula lobbied on behalf of Lord Maglite and Bullyclub was shown mercy, even being admitted into the Union.


Squashcourt's colors are lime and blue.


The third war with Bullyclub happened some time after the destruction of Faq but before the Battle For Gobwin Knob. This is considering King Banhammer's book has been published and that Jillian is wearing polished silver armor rather than the Samurai-like Faq armor, but is still serving as a mercenary.

Real World References

[Squash] is an indoor sport, it's a lot like tennis and is played with rackets and a squeezable ball. Players bat the ball towards a wall and the opposing player hits it back.