Sizemore Rockwell

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Sizemore Rockwell
Race: Men
Tribe: Plaid Tribe (nearly lost)
Faction: Gobwin Knob
Class: Caster (Dirtamancer)
Level: 3+
Move: (unknown)
Eyebook Username: ImInUrDirtz
Eyebook Sound: Choo

Proposed Canon

"Nobody knows what's going on in this world. I guess... a few of us would like to."

Strengths: Knowledge, Curiosity, Kindness

Weaknesses: Assertiveness, Confidence, Effectiveness


Sizemore Rockwell is a Dirtamancer in the service of Lord Stanley. He was outside of Gobwin Knob when King Saline IV was overthrown, so he is not a Garrison unit, but had little if any combat experience before the Battle of Gobwin Knob. His main duty as the story opens is to animate crap golems. Since he seems quite competent as a Dirtamancer, it's possible he may have leveled before, as a result of using his special abilities as a caster in non-combat situations. Earlier, he bored a large number of mining tunnels in the volcanic base of Gobwin Knob, until he believed that the gems had been mined out. He had also, at some point, crafted multiple Soft Rock Golems, Hard Rock Golems, Acid Rock Golems, and one Metal Golem.

His personality is that of a meek intellectual. He has attempted to learn various types of magic, and has a basic theoretical understanding of magic in general, but has no practical ability at using any magics other than Dirtamancy. He enjoys visiting the Magic Kingdom, and listening to the debates which occur there.

Soon after Parson is summoned, Sizemore teaches him some of the basics of the Erfworld magic system, and teaches him about several magic items, and about the Thinkamancy link. After Stanley leaves Gobwin Knob, Parson leaves him to modify the tunnels under Gobwin Knob along with his golems. During the tunnel battle in Gobwin Knob, Sizemore led the Gobwins and his Golems into battle, using traps and bombs to diminish the Jetstone forces swarming the tunnels. Eventually, he was cornered by Warlords Webinar and Dora. He killed both Warlords by healing an incapacitated Golem, which crushed them both. After killing the enemy commanders of the battle, Sizemore eliminated the remaining leadership and routed the tunnel invaders completely.

After the walls were pierced by the remaining RCC, Sizemore was linked with Maggie and Wanda Firebaugh to uncroak the volcano Gobwin Knob was built on. Upon successful eruption of the volcano, all of the RCC was destroyed, and Sizemore managed to also use the eruption to blast valuable gems to the surface of the mountain for recovery. He claims to have learned more about the terrain around Gobwin Knob in the few minutes he was linked than he had learned in his entire lifetime. According to Hippiemancer Janis, Sizemore advanced two levels during the course of the Battle of Gobwin Knob.

Upon Stanley's instructions, Sizemore then upgraded the city of Gobwin Knob. He temporarily linked with Maggie in order to do this more efficiently. He is currently mining out the top layer of gems, and instructing Parson in the details of Erfworld magic. He's also been busy sending out parties of tunnel-capable units to search for feral Gobwins in the tunnels underneath nearby mountain hexes. While Sizemore has located many Marbits, he has yet to find a single Gobwin.


Parson Gotti

Sizemore seems to have been Parson's first friend in Erfworld. The two respected each other right away. Sizemore had never received any respect from a Warlord before, so he naturally treated Parson the way he would treat one of his fellow Casters in the Magic Kingdom. Sizemore's attitude toward Parson suffered when Sizemore was ordered to kill enemy units, but Sizemore seems to have forgiven Parson.

Sizemore enjoys learning new ideas and performing new tasks, as long as they don't directly involve croaking people. He therefore appreciates Parson's capacity for suggesting ideas and activities which are new to Erfworld. He knows that associating with Parson is likely to increase the rate at which he levels. But he is also apprehensive about Parson's capacity for mass slaughter, and dislikes the effect Parson's innovations are having on his relations with the casters in the Magic Kingdom. While Janis helped him come to terms with the death toll produced by "uncroaking" the volcano, he knows he may find it harder to forgive what Parson makes him do in future battles. By the time the Siege of Spacerock is over, Sizemore shows a great deal of antipathy, and Parson acknowledges that Sizemore probably hates him now.

Wanda Firebaugh

Sizemore normally refers to Wanda as "Lady Firebaugh", and seems to respect her. He does not like having to defend her actions to the casters of the Magic Kingdom. As a caster, Wanda is probably aware of Sizemore's "Rock Star" status in the Magic Kingdom. She is at least superficially respectful toward Sizemore, but can be inconsiderate and curt, as she was when Sizemore suggested that Jillian could break Wanda's Suggestion Spell. They have a functional working relationship but do not appear to be social. In particular, Sizemore's willingness to study fields of magic he has no ability at puzzles the multitalented but specialized Wanda.

Wanda may have gained a greater appreciation of Sizemore as a result of linking with him to uncroak the Volcano. If Wanda believes that Fate requires that other members of her side attune to the other Arkentools, she may see Sizemore as a likely candidate for this role.


Janis is extremely interested in Parson's potential capability to change the course of Erfworld's history. She has strongly encouraged Sizemore to remain Parson's friend and supporter, so that Sizemore will be in a position to influence Parson. Sizemore has so far followed Janis's advice, despite his own fears that Parson's influence on the world is likely to be terribly harmful. Sizemore believes that Janis is very wise, and he values her friendship highly. He views her as a moral authority.

When we first met Janis and Sizemore, Janis was trying unsuccessfully to teach Sizemore to use Flower Power, in return for a fee of 8 Rands. Since she is unable to teach him, Janis offers to waive her fee, but instead Sizemore insists on paying her 20 Rands, possibly because there is a good chance that he's going to die, and so won't need the money himself. Sizemore admits to Janis that he didn't really expect to be very good at the form of magic Janis was teaching. The fact that Janis had apparently never before tried to teach Sizemore Flower Power, and that he had originally agreed to pay her for his lesson, suggests that Sizemore and Janis were not particularly close friends before Parson was summoned to Erfworld. When Parson appeared in the Magic Kingdom, Janis moved decisively to take control of the situation, rendering Parson unconscious (perhaps so he wouldn't further antagonize the other casters) and offering a large sum of money to get Sizemore safely extracted from his link to Maggie and Wanda.

Unlike most of the other casters in the Magic Kingdom, Janis remains on very good terms with Sizemore even as it becomes increasingly clear that Gobwin Knob represents a major challenge to the existing social order on Erfworld. This is because she welcomes the changes she thinks Parson may bring, rather than fearing them.


The two share a strong rapport. As a Caster, Maggie was probably always aware of Sizemore's "Rock Star" status in the Magic Kingdom. However, they probably weren't all that close until they linked to uncroak the Volcano, and learned just how compatible they really were.

Some level of romantic involvement is implied, but not yet resolved as definitely present or absent.

Sizemore and Maggie have discovered that they can easily link up for casting spells together. This linkage not only boosts Sizemore's abilities, it is also very enjoyable.

Sizemore and Maggie have discovered that they can easily link up for casting spells together.

Stanley the Tool

In Book One, Stanley is aware of Sizemore's existence, but cannot be bothered to remember his name. Sizemore seems completely resigned to Stanley's abuse as he is to everything else. He perks up even at the brief acknowledgment Stanley gives him when he returns to Gobwin Knob. Sizemore does give Stanley a much-needed morale boost when he and Maggie remake the city of Gobwin Knob with a heavy Stanley Is The Man influence. Obviously, Stanley has no idea of this.


Sizemore has a theoretical knowledge of many types of magic, but currently lacks the practical ability to effectively use any magic besides Dirtamancy, though he has been seen to use a Shockmancy scroll on one occasion. He may gain the ability to use more types of magic in the future, either because of his own advancement to a higher level, or because of his ability to link closely with Maggie. According to Hippiemancer Janis, Sizemore had advanced two levels during the course of the Battle of Gobwin Knob. There are some signs that Sizemore may be becoming more assertive, confident and effective.

Real World References

Sizemore's name is derived from the stage names of two members of the band Assrockers: Durt Sizemore and Riff Rockwell.WoT-1646581

It is also worth noting that one of the earliest patents for a shovel design was given to James B. Sizemore.