Loj Banhammer

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IPTSF Text 57.jpg
King Loj Banhammer
Race: Men
Faction: Faq
Class: Ruler (King)
Special: Royal

Proposed Canon

Strengths: Philosophy, Peace, Moderating Discussions

Weaknesses: War, Naivety, Dealing With His Daughter

First Appearance: TBFGK 82

King Loj Banhammer was the Royal, human and final Ruler of Faq before he was croaked.Erf-b1-p082Same-site.PNG Jillian Zamussels is his daughter and an heir to his throne. His rule was, until the end, peaceful and avoided conflict.

He had multiple Casters. In order to remain out of the conflict that rages across Erfworld, he relied on his Foolamancer (Jack Snipe) and Predictamancer (Marie Lavraie) to conceal his cities. He had few Warlords and did not think much of them, lacking any use for them.Erf-b1-p082Same-site.PNG

After his Predictamancer foretold the eventual fall of the kingdom, King Banhammer ordered an heir popped. The heir, Jillian, did not have the philosophical temperament Banhammer had hoped for, leading to problems in their relationship. According to Jillian, Banhammer was very rule-bound, obsessed with philosophy, and uninterested in military matters.Erf-b1-p082Same-site.PNG.

King Banhammer was croaked during the assault on Faq by Stanley the Plaid. This attack was orchestrated by Wanda Firebaugh in an attempt to pry the Arkenhammer from Stanley, but the plan failed when Stanley proved too powerful.

The Principles of Peace

According to IPTSF Text 58, Banhammer wrote a treatise of his philosophies called The Principles of Peace. In it, he discourses on the different Principles, which include the Principle of Mutual Benefit, and the Principle of Generosity, and the Hierarchy of Good. Within the Hierarchy, he ranks what he terms as Services, based on which are of the greatest Good.

As of IPTSF 58, we only know of the Services Life, Love, Harmony and Wisdom. Wisdom is ranked over the others, because:

You must understand that the progression of the world is toward a greater Wisdom. Individual Life must perish, but Wisdom well-served can accumulate. It will serve and enrich new Life as new Life inevitably generates! So the hierarchy does not imply that Wisdom is greater in value than Life, but that the service of Wisdom is of greater importance because it also serves Life and Love and Harmony and all the other Goods.

Banhammer's book was eventually published. It was later read by Lord Crush of Firstpost, who was interested in it because he studied bubble kingdoms.


Jillian Zamussels

Banhammer popped Jillian as an Heir, after hearing a Prediction about the fall of Faq.

From the very first, their relationship was fraught. Banhammer was a pacifist, a philosopher; Jillian an uncouth, efficient croaking-machine. A level of compromise was reached by letting Jillian spend most of her time away from Faq on mercenary missions. This allowed her to serve Faq in her best capacity, without causing any strife in the court.

Despite butting heads on many issues, Jillian was always loyal to Banhammer. At no point did she consider Turning or revolting.


  • It is possible that his croaking is shown on page 147Erf-b1-p147Same-site.PNG. The body size seems to match with King Banhammer. Erf-b1-p082Same-site.PNG
    • Defeated as Stanley relates in text update 27 Erf-b2-pT27Same-site.PNG that Wanda immediately croaked and uncroaked the King when his dwagons stormed Faq.

Banhammer may have intentionally caused the strife between himself and his daughter. Popping an heir would not have changed the Prediction concerning his Kingdom: With or without an heir, it would still have been destroyed. From Jillian's temperament, he would know that she would have died in glorious battle defending her kingdom futilely making her popping a waste of effort; however, by being away from Faq at the time of its fall, she would become a Barbarian Warlord at his croaking, then could return to Faq and reclaim it, resurrecting and rebuilding the dead Side.

Real World References

His name is a reference to the power wielded by an administrator to ban or block users of internet media.

His name might also be a reference to the proverb "He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword", since he and his city were defeated by the power of the Arkenhammer.

Lojban is a constructed, syntactically unambiguous human language based on predicate logic.

Preceded by:
Ruler of Faq Succeeded by:
Jillian Zamussels