"I can describe your legs. How about, "A bathtub full of ricotta cheese crammed into two condoms?"
Strengths: Zingers, Eating
Hamstard is the primary, and only, character in Parson's webcomic. Hamstard is a cynical, fat, foul-mouthed hamster that enjoys insulting the author, Parson, as much as anything else. The webcomic is cut-and-paste, so there is initially only a single image of Hamstard, with a second image coming later in the comic.
You can find Hamstard at Hamstard.com. Warning: Hamstard contains Coarse Language, Sexual References, and is just plain nasty. Parental discretion is advised.