"I can describe your legs. How about, "A bathtub full of ricotta cheese crammed into two condoms?"
Strengths: Zingers, Eating
Hamstard is the primary, and only, character in Parson's webcomic. Hamstard is a cynical, fat, foul-mouthed hamster that enjoys insulting the author, Parson, as much as anything else. The webcomic is cut-and-paste, so there is initially only a single image of Hamstard, with a second and third image coming later in the comic.
Hamstard was originally hosted at Hamstard.com, but an attack knocked it out. Erfwiki now hosts copies of all the published Hamstard comics, and eight previously unpublished ones. You can start reading here. Warning: Hamstard contains Coarse Language, Sexual References, and is just plain nasty. Parental discretion is advised.