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Revision as of 05:11, 15 January 2010 by (talk) (Cloth Golems)
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Proposed Canon

Golems are magically animated Units. Frequently they are humanoid, but this is not a requirement.

Known Varieties of Golems

An elephant and giraffe cloth golem, along side several other RCC units.

Cloth Golem

Sewn together like stuffed animals, Cloth Golems were part of the Royal Crown Coalition and included giraffes and elephants (at least).Erf-b1-p010Same-site.PNG Also, most of Charlie's golems are claimed to be cloth golems.See Speculation below for more on Cloth Golems.

First Appearance: TBFGK 10

Crap Golems.

Crap Golem

'If life gives you crap, make crap golems' - Sizemore Rockwell

This is a mass of crap animated by the might of Dirtamancy. May detonate in a violent explosion if its finger is pulled by a Dirtamancer. When one crap golem exploded, its sound effect was a well known imageboardErf-b1-p126Same-site.PNG.

Gobwin Knob had 19 of these on day 5. Erf-b1-p077aSame-site.PNG

First Appearance: TBFGK 53

A Metal Golem.

Metal Golem

Animated by Dirtamancy. A golem, made of metal looking like a "heavy metal" musician. Is most likely the most powerful Dirtamancy Golem introduced thus far, Gobwin Knob had one of these, according to Parson's Stupid Meal.

First Appearance: TBFGK 79a

An Acid Rock Golem.

Acid Rock Golem

Animated by Dirtamancy. Made of stone, looking like a "Disco" or "Psychedelic" era musician when people frequently went on LSD or "Acid" trips. It also has psychedelic patterns running through it. Gobwin Knob had two of these.

First Appearance: TBFGK 79a

A Hard Rock Golem.

Hard Rock Golem

Animated by Dirtamancy. Made of stone in the shape of a Rock Musician. Gobwin Knob had four of theseErf-b1-p126Same-site.PNG, presumably shown croaking marbits in the first Tunnel attackErf-b1-p087Same-site.PNG.

First Appearance: TBFGK 79a(Klog)/TBFGK 87

A Soft Rock Golem.

Soft Rock Golem

Animated by Dirtamancy. Similar to a hard rock golem, but presumably less powerful. It looks like artists from the famous band the Beatles, who were known for relatively "soft" rock. Gobwin Knob had nine of these.

First Appearance: TBFGK 79a(Klog)/TBFGK 122


Cloth Golems

Battle Bears and similar plush toy Units may be Cloth Golems. They are Heavy units. Additionally, Battle Bears served as siege units used in the Royal Crown Coalition and helped breach the Outer Walls of Gobwin Knob. Cloth Golems are most likely created by Dollamancy, but may be created by other Magic Discipline instead, or as well. Dollamancers can heal Cloth Golems.

It is assumed that cloth golems have a lower upkeep than the heavier variants, this might be why Charlie has such a large number of them. Also possible is that they are simply cheaper or easier to make. Alternately, he might just like them. Charlie is supposed to be impenetrably weird like that.

Real World References

The names of the different types of Rock Golems (including Metal Golems) are references to genres of Rock 'n Roll music. Furthermore, the physical shape of each type of golem is reminiscent of the type of music they represent. For instance, in the case of the Soft Rock Golem shown above, the image looks strikingly similar to soft rocker Paul Simon circa 1968.[1] Similarly, four (presumed) Hard Rock Golems shown croaking a stack of marbit bear a striking resemblance to theme-rock band KISS.Erf-b1-p087Same-site.PNG[2] One of the other golems (possibly metal?) was stylized after the Comedian from the graphic novel The Watchmen.

The idea of a golem can be traced, through various role-playing game incarnations, to Jewish folktales and folklore describing animated creatures made from dust.