TBFGK Epilogue 17
Turns since TBfGK: 3
Transylvito was a city that looked like you didn't want to mess with it. That's what Vinny loved about it. Even though he'd popped way out in Duckula, and it was 200 turns before he'd ever seen his capital, this city was home. The black walls, marble columns and iron towers reached right up out of the black-streaked granite of the imposing Mount Mofo. Everywhere you looked, there was something sharp, something hard, something that could croak you. Just beautiful.
The stack swept in from the south, hugging the mountaintop and approaching the city along the old aqueduct trail. Non-fliers could only reach the city by this trail, and the move penalty was murder. Low-move units (like, say, most siege engines) might need three or even four turns just to climb the mountain. The capital had not been seriously assaulted by ground in thousands of turns.
So the defenses were mainly towers, oriented for airspace fights. The outer walls were almost ornamental, and would barely inconvenience an attacking infantry, a fact which technically made the city a Level 4. But the garrison zone was bigger and taller than some whole Level Fives, with their walls and all.
Besides Warlords, Casters, Doombats and a few Men, the city was mainly defended by Dolls, Molls, Guard Goyles and Skanks. The Dolls and Molls were animated mannequins and statues, used as much for decoration as defense. The Goyles were flying infantry units with some natural casting abilities, like Archons. And like Archons, they were nearly all female. The Skanks were simply elite, knight-class Goyles.
As they crossed into the city's airspace, an honor guard of Skanks rose up to greet them, in full warpaint and body glitter. They wore little black dresses, cut low in the back to reveal their distinctive antler emblems. Crying "woo!" and "partay!" they swarmed the stack in twos and threes, putting glowing necklaces around the warlords' necks, and offering small cups of flavored gelatin without even using their hands.
With two of them clinging to Vinny's arms, declaring him "so hot" and themselves "so wasted," he suddenly thought about how close he'd come to never seeing this place again. To his surprise, he started getting a little choked up about it.
But then, he glanced back at Zamussels. Both her blades were drawn, and spattered with glowing necklace goo. She was using them to hold two confused Skanks at bay. She met his gaze, and if looks were battle-axes, she would have just split his face.
He laughed, grinned at her, and held up a red cup full of cool, flavored wine.
"'S good ta come home!" he shouted. The Skanks wooed again.
- ^ "Dolls", "Molls", and "Goyles" (a mispronunciation of "Girls") refer to prostitutes in service to organized crime bosses. A "Skank" is a woman of promiscuous sexual habits.
- ^ The Skanks' "distinctive antler emblems" refers to lower back tattoos, popularly called "tramp stamps". These tattoos are often done in tribal style.
- ^ The Skanks are offering Jello shots (Gelatin dessert spiked with alcohol) from their cleavage.