Faq redirects here. For other uses, see Faq (disambiguation)
The Kingdom of Faq is a Capital Side in Erfworld. It was sacked by Stanley, but has been rebuilt by Queen Jillian using funds provided by Transylvito.Erf-b1.5-p037 It is now a member of the Royal Crown Coalition II. Count Vinny Doombats is the liaison between Faq and Transylvito; he has since become Jillian's lover. Jillian has formed a secret alliance with Charlie who helped arrange for the Western Giants to become Faq's Natural Allies. Since the fall of Unaroyal, Don King has been sending substantial resources to Faq at the cost of his own Kingdom, leaving its own borders vulnerable and repeatedly invaded against the objections of his Chief Warlord Caesar Borgata.
Faq consists of a Capital of the same name with two subordinate cities. It also has significant natural resources available as farms and mines. Faq's cities can produce Royals, Noble Warlords, Knights, Infantry, Gwiffons and Megalogwiffs. The rate at which new units are being produced has been substantially increased by Vanna.
Faq is surrounded with mountains on all sides.Erf-b1-p082 Some tunnels pass through these mountains. Much of the mountain terrain is of the "Impassable Mountain" variety which provides a small number of choke points; this makes it much easier to defend Faq against a numerically superior army. There is at least one pass through the mountains, called the Faq Gap. A river flows through the Kingdom of Faq.
- King Banhammer -- Royal Ruler, Deceased
- Lady Wanda Firebaugh -- Croakamancer, currently employed by Lord Stanley the Tool
- Jack Snipe -- Foolamancer, currently employed by Stanley the Tool
- Marie Lavraie -- Predictamancer, living in the Magic Kingdom
- Queen Jillian Zamussels -- former Royal Warlord and Heir, former Barbarian mercenary, current Ruler
- Vinny Doombats, Count of Duckula, Transylvito Liaison to Faq, lover of Queen Jillian.
- Chief Warlord Duncan Scone -- Level 6, Formerly Jitterati. Captured by Faq in 51 AW.
- Vanna -- Turnamancer Formerly employed by Unaroyal. Joins Faq in 41 AW.
- Bobtail -- Warlord Level 2.
- Belzon -- Warlord
- DeTrop -- Warlord Level 1
- Two other newly created Noble Warlords, one of which is level 2, possibly named Danny or Dave.
- Royal Heir likely to be popped in 81 AW.
- Western Giants
- Main article: Erfworld Geography
Faq is located in the vicinity of the Kingdom of Transylvito. Transylvito units passed by Faq (although not seeing it) periodically.Erf-b1-p138 It is located deep within the High Mountains, nearly impassible except for fliers and tunnelers.Erf-b1-p099
(In 27 AW)
- Faq -- Level 4, Capital. The city of Faq has unusual defenses, which seem specifically designed to defend against Dwagon attacks.
- Otoh -- Level 2, farming
- Kibo -- Level 2, farming
City of Faq
- Main Article: City of Faq
- "It was circular, sharp, and shining.
- The outer "walls" were useless against siege, even worse than Transylvito's. They consisted of a ring of stone teeth with a reflective coating of tin, inward-curving towers that terminated in spoon-like roosts for gwiffons and megalogwiffs. There was no gate. Vinny simply flew between these pillars and entered the city. A horn somewhere announced him as an arriving allied unit.
- The garrison was a set of six more teeth, much taller, fortified with solid walls that joined them like webbing. Three of these walls had gated archways, adorned with Gothic patterns in wrought iron and stone.
- At the center of the garrison rose a tower constructed with all the ferocity of Jillian's imagination. It was shaped something like a white marble palm tree. The trunk was a twist of six massive columns, tapering slightly as they reached straight upward. The top of the tower was a miniature fortress, a bristle of glass and hard spikes, with ledges and platforms where many dozens of flyers could land, or hundreds of defenders could lurk."
The Peaceful Kingdom
King Banhammer sought a peaceful, non-violent existence for his Kingdom, and so avoided combat that put his nation at risk. He relied heavily on the use of magic and had multiple Casters, including a Predictamancer (Marie Lavraie)Erf-b1-p082, a Croakamancer (Wanda Firebaugh), and a Foolamancer (Jack Snipe)Erf-b1-p107.
When enemy units appeared nearby (usually passing through his territory unaware a nation existed there), Marie Lavraie was able to lay out the route the force would follow, allowing Jack to Veil one City at a time; thus, he managed to keep the location of Faq hidden until Wanda revealed the existence of Faq to Stanley. When King Banhammer was informed by Marie Lavraie that Faq would someday fall, his response was to pop his heir, Princess Jillian. Jillian was popped sometime before 625 BW.
Although the kingdom had mines and farms, King Banhammer found it necessary to send its units to do mercenary work, in order to supplement the treasury.Erf-b1-p082 Jillian assumed command over these mercenaries after she had problems with King Banhammer. Her employment as a mercenary provided her with combat experience that helped her reach a relatively high level.
Fall of Faq
Marie Lavraie gave Wanda a second Prediction: that she would one day attune to an Arkentool. This would lead her to desperate measures in finding her destiny. She eventually learned of Stanley the Plaid, a Warlord in the service of King Saline IV at the time, who had attuned to the Arkenhammer. Thinking to take this Arkentool from him, she conspired with Stanley to bring him to Faq. Her intent was to see Stanley die in the attack on her side. Her plan failed because Stanley unexpectedly acquired a large number of Dwagons during his journey from Gobwin Knob to Faq. Because he had a far larger force than he'd originally planned to use, Stanley succeeded in destroying and pillaging Faq, ending the side. Wanda and Jack survived this disaster by agreeing to serve under Stanley, while Marie Lavraie became a Barbarian caster in the Magic Kingdom. At the time of Stanley's attack, Jillian and at least some of her mercenaries were in the field. Faq's fall turned Jillian and the troops with her into a Barbarian force. Jillian's troops were later killed in battle with Witches and Jillian remains the only known former Faq Unit that is not a caster.
The New Kingdom
The restored Kingdom of Faq has been profoundly influenced by each of the three main survivors on the Royal Side of the Battle of Gobwin Knob: Jillian, Charlie, and Vinny. Without Vinny's efforts to encourage cooperation between Jillian and Don King, it is unlikely that Transylvito would have provided the resources needed to first rebuild Faq and than rapidly expand its forces. Without the advice and financial support provided to Jillian by both Charlie and Transylvito, Faq could not have developed as it has. Between the three of them, these architects of Faq have a far better understanding of the personalities and abilities of the leaders of Gobwin Knob than anyone else on the Royal side. No one besides Charlie even begins to understand what Parson is capable of, and no one has the length of experience with both Wanda and Jack that Jillian has. As the magnitude of the threat posed by Gobwin Knob grows ever more apparent, the question of how Gobwin Knob can be stopped will be asked with greater and greater frequency. Natural Signamancy suggests that the answer will be found in Faq.
War in Jetstone
- 26 Gwiffons
- 6 Megalogwiffs (on LIAB 24, however, it appears that there are at least 10 Megalogwiffs, suggesting that Ossomer might have been wrong, or that Jillian upgraded at least four (if that's possible))
- 1 Chief Warlord Duncan Scone
- 1 Warlord Bobtail
- 1 Warlord Belzon
- 1 Warlord DeTrop
- 1 Caster Vanna
Jillian's forces are significantly less powerful than Wanda's flying force of Dwagons and Archons. Instead of entering into a direct conflict with Wanda, Jillian changed the tactical situation in Jetstone's favor by having Vanna (while linked to Charlie), end Gobwin Knob's turn before Wanda could take advantage of her superior strength and position. Jillian then captured Ansom, (which made it easier for Jetstone to destroy Gobwin Knob's ground troops), before leaving to attack the cities held by Gobwin Knob which lay between Jetstone and Faq. She sacked Progrock, and thereby gained 40,000 Shmuckers, after capturing Stanley's living units and croaking Wanda's decrypted.
Under Banhammer, the livery of Faq was green, Far Eastern styled clothing.
Under Jillian, the livery is now silver and white.
Charlie gave Jillian the idea of making a deal between Faq and the Western Giants, who were allied with Jitterati. During Jillian's attack on Valdez, under the cover of a Parley, the Giants switched sides to Faq.
More posts of this quality. Not the usual c***, pelase
Real World References
Faq is also a pun on "The Eternal Questions," such as 'Who am I?', 'What do I want?', 'What is my purpose for being?', 'Is there an afterlife?', 'What is my role in society?', etc.
Western Giants seem to be based on the San Francisco Giants baseball team. Faq's ensign is similar to that of Indonesia's national airline, Garuda Indonesia.