Descriptive Table of Contents

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A page-by-page summary of the Story So Far.

See also: Plot Summary, which takes a more prose-based approach.

Contents

Inner Peace (Through Superior Firepower)

Book 0 : The story before Parson enters Erfworld.

Part 1: The Fate of Goodminton

Day 1

Goodminton's turn
  1. Episode 1: A new Firebaugh is born.
  2. Episode 2: Wanda attends Temple.
  3. Episode 3: Wanda meets the rest of the family.
  4. Episode 4: Wanda volunteers for active Duty.
  5. Episode 5: Wanda gets bawdy.

Day 2

  1. Episode 6: When life gives you lemons, Wanda uncroaks an army.

Day 18

  1. Episode 7: Wanda learns to play dice.
  2. Episode 8: The dice explain luck.
  3. Episode 9: Wanda's fate is to choose flowers over fire.
  4. Episode 10: Firebaugh fires Delphie Temple, embraces Wanda.

Day 21

  1. Episode 11: Wanda and Tommy discuss trees and Magic.

Day 23

  1. Episode 12: A hippie tells the atomic bomb to chillaxe.
  2. Episode 13: Olive branch causes uncroaked to smile.
  3. Episode 14: Wanda wants to escape Haffaton's grasp, so Tommy hatches a plan.
  4. Episode 15: Wanda refuses to bed with the enemy.

Day 24

  1. Episode 16: Wanda contemplates the merits and risks of love and chocolate.
  2. Episode 17: Neither Wanda nor Olive turn, but Frenemy and Quisling do.
  3. Episode 18: Wanda grieves in her own way.

Day 27

  1. Episode 19: Wanda goes Hat Magic.
  2. Episode 20: Wanda comes up with a capital leveler, Minnow Tower rises up over the capitol level, Delphie levels up, and Quisling and Frenemy give up on leveling the capitol.

Day 33

  1. Episode 21: Wanda visits Magic Kingdom, meets old new friends.
  2. Episode 22: Wanda asks Dice to choose Fate or Luck. He answers with Love.
  3. Episode 23: Wanda gets dolled up.
  4. Episode 24: Wanda predicts her Fate.

Day 45

  1. Episode 25: Wanda makes a promise.

Day 46

  1. Episode 26: Wanda is promoted to Overlord of Goodminton, which promptly disbands.

Part 2: Faq's Hope

The Field Party

  1. Episode 27: Jillian is alive!
  2. Episode 28: Jillian tells a Christian to turn the other cheek.
  3. Episode 29: Jillian is told to come home.

Banhammer's Court

  1. Episode 30: Jillian comes home.
  2. Episode 31: Battle of a different sort.
  3. Episode 32: Banhammer reveals his plan.
  4. Episode 33: Jillian counters with her own plan.
  5. Episode 34: Jillian shocks the shockamancer.

The WRECD

  1. Episode 35: Without real war, the Wonderful Royal Expeditionary Company of Doom contents itself with Air War.
  2. Episode 36: The die is cast in Diecast.
  3. Episode 37: After checking herself out in a mirror, Jillian rides the light rail.
  4. Episode 38: Jillian gets her freak on, is seen, gets freaked out, flees the scene.

Wanda's Garden

  1. Episode 39: Wanda shows off her garden.
  2. Episode 40: Wanda tells Jillian about the paths.
  3. Episode 41: Wanda wanders off, and Jillian's stomach growls.
  4. Episode 42: 120 turns of Wanda
  5. Episode 43: Wanda talks about why, and Jillian talks about who.

On the run

  1. Episode 44: Steamboat Jilly
  2. Episode 45: Jillian gets high on a Dwagon, and the Dwagon gets high on elves.
  3. Episode 46: Jillian gets wet with three archons.

Goodminton Revisited

  1. Episode 47: Jillian visits Goodminton.
  2. Episode 48: Jillian doesn't find any traps, just caps and maps, and a blast from the past from a certain cast(er).
  3. Episode 49: After much hugging Gillian and Olive play catch.

Olive's Garden

  1. Episode 50: A yellow brick road is followed to an Emerald City.
  2. Episode 51: After a Jester fails catastrophically, the mean ol' Wizard of Erf is spoken of.
  3. Episode 52: A Florist shows her fangs as the Fate of Faq is revealed.
  4. Episode 53: Wanda sadly speaks and plucks.
  5. Episode 54: The yellow brick road is revisited.

The Emerald City

  1. Episode 55: An audience requests an audience.
  2. Episode 56: A ceremonial crowning takes a turn for the worse.
  3. Episode 57: A discussion of sorcery is quite rudely interrupted.
  4. Episode 58: The King of Wisdom acts unwisely and the Queen of Life drains more life.
  5. Episode 59: Determined to prevent Nookie at all costs, the Chief Warlord of Faq interrupts a discussion.

The Last Dawn

  1. Episode 60: Banhammer asks his court to turn.
  2. Episode 61: How did you get the Arkenshoes?!
  3. Episode 62: Judy prefers Kansas to Olive Garden and sword beats axe.
  4. Episode 63: When life gave Jillian Lemon Jefferson, Jack gave her lemon-aid
  5. Episode 64: Jillian loses a prisoner, but gains a Capital.
  6. Episode 65: Olive gets served with a Side of marshmallow.

The Trial of the Thirty Six Thousand Five Hundred and Twenty Five Turns

  1. Episode 66: The trial begins.
  2. Episode 67: Feeling magnanimous, Wanda offers Olive an invitation.
  3. Episode 68: Mortism leads a phonecall.
  4. Episode 69: If you're nasty and you know it and you really want to show it...
  5. Episode 70: Two girls, one Jester.

The Garden Burns

  1. Episode 71: Preparations for the reptile hunt.
  2. Episode 72: Efbaum echoes to declarations of unlove.

The Dust Settles

  1. Episode 73: Innocence is found in death.
  2. Episode 74: Faq is reborn.
  3. Episode 75: Jillian is offered the Deal of a Lifetime.
  4. Episode 76: Jillian beats the "beat Jillian personally" special.
  5. Episode 77: A swiss army sword detects a hidden door.
  6. Episode 78: Jillian plans Faq's withdrawal, and Wanda goes into withdrawal.
    Jillian focuses on the warlord-y aspects of her Duty, while Faq's Court resumes business as usual. In trying to comfort Wanda, Jillian finds out that Charlie used to use the Buds, and may have a cure.
  7. Episode 79: Boys and their Toys.
    Jillian agrees to the Deal of a Lifetime if Charlie fixes Wanda. While she offends Betsy by asking for help, Charlie takes the opportunity to play as the Wizard one last time.
  8. Episode 80: Smoke 'em if you got 'em.
    Jillian and Wanda discuss the Deal, their cravings, and the gardens. Jillian decides to force the issue with Charlie and makes one final demand: destroy his own Buds.
  9. Episode 81: Jillian worse than croaks.

The Battle for Gobwin Knob

Book 1 : Parson is summoned as 'Perfect Warlord', to defend Gobwin Knob.

Day 1

  1. Title page: Giant Elvii create the world; Marbits buy extra troops and breach the right flank
  2. Page 2: Manpower the Temporary bites it, tastes key lime pie; Wanda introduced, her bad day gets worse
  3. Page 3: Wanda returns to Gobwin Knob via dwagon
  4. Page 4: Bogroll, Stanley introduced; former demonstrates lack of guile; latter busts a nut
  5. Page 5: Wanda & Stanley talk strategy; Wanda brings up summoning spell
  6. Page 6: Stanley orders Wanda to buy spell & cast it herself; Bogroll lives up to his name
  7. Page 7: Jillian, Ansom introduced; Ansom makes pass at Jillian
  8. Page 8: Night falls; Ansom discusses scouting with/continues to make passes at Jillian; Jillian bivouacs in the open field

Day 2

  1. Page 9: Jillian goes scouting; "ORLY?"
  2. Page 10: Jillian hits a target of opportunity; Webinar, Dora introduced, sent after Jillian

Day 3

    Gobwin Knob's turn

  1. Page 11: Sizemore introduced, found flaking with hippiemancers, scolded by Wanda
  2. Page 12: Jillian captured by dwagons; "OMGWTFBBQ!" [[1]]
  3. Page 13: Wanda & Sizemore beam back to Gobwin Knob; Sizemore makes crap golems
  4. Page 14: Parson introduced; works at Kinko's; checks Hamstard's hitcount
  5. Page 15: Parson eats gwiffon for breakfast, gives grandiose game intro
  6. Page 16: Ashna questions Parson's health; PLOT happens
  7. Page 17: Stanley & Wanda go Tron; Stanley continues to make unreasonable demands; Parson arrives in Erfworld
  8. Page 18: Parson gets a headache, swears a lot
  9. Page 19: Stanley & Parson debate Wanda's assertion that he is alive; Parson stands up
  10. Page 20: Stanley declares himself a tool
  11. Page 21: Arkenpliers first seen; Ansom addresses his war council; Elf subraces revealed to be plentiful
  12. Page 22: Elven parade continues; Vinny introduced; Arkenpliers formally revealed; Ansom demonstrates overconfidence
  13. Page 23: Parson compelled to laugh at Stanley's bad jokes; Parson recognizes Gobwin Knob
  14. Page 24: Parson declared Lord Hamster; Wanda excused to pursue her hobbies
  15. Page 25: Webinar engages spidews, loses cloth golem
  16. Page 26: Parson & Stanley discuss dwagons & stupid names
  17. Page 27: Wanda changes clothes; Parson introduced to uncroaked warlords; Manpower craves pie
  18. Page 28: Mung introduced; Wanda reveals white leather fetish; Mung stands at attention
  19. Page 29: Stanley unknowingly imitates Vizzini; Bogroll reports as lackey retainer to Parson
  20. Page 30: Jillian asks for the very easy way, gets the very hard way
  21. Page 31: Parson insinuates that Stanley is evil; Stanley reacts poorly
  22. Page 32: Stanley orders Parson not to speak, reveals expectation of Arkenpliers
  23. Page 33: Stanley gives Parson an eyebook; Parson contacted by Sizemore
  24. Royal Crown Coalition's turn

  25. Page 34: Ansom & Vinny discuss Stanley's rise to power; Webinar finds Jillian's items; Ansom calls Charlie
  26. Night

  27. Page 35: Parson learns about magic from Sizemore
  28. Page 36: Sizemore takes Parson's crap; Wanda finishes interrogating Jillian, shifts to girl-talk

Day 4

    Gobwin Knob's turn

  1. Page 37: Bogroll presents Parson with his armor
  2. Parson's Klog #1: Parson's Klog, birthdate 12/7/1982: Parson shares feelings on Erfworld; Hamstard invents the lipid golem.
  3. Page 38: Jillian heals wounds, breaks down, gets sushi; Wanda hypnotizes Mung
  4. Parson's Klog #2: Parson's Klog: Magic theory
  5. Parson's Klog #3: Parson's Klog: Strategery!
  6. Page 39: Parson gets a Stupid Meal; Arkentools numbered at four
  7. Page 40: Parson & Stanley continue verbal sparring; Wanda manipulates them both
  8. Parson's Klog #4: Parson's Klog: Parson laments difficulty learning about combat; some system tidbits revealed; Bogroll's stats revealed
  9. Page 41: Wanda releases Jillian; plan to lure Ansom out revealed; Wanda gets creepiness on
  10. Royal Crown Coalition's turn

  11. Page 42: Charlie's Archons introduced, ally with Jetstone; Vinny persuades Ansom not to personally rescue Jillian
  12. Page 43: Parson & Wanda react to the failed plan; Wanda advises Parson on dealing with His Toolship; Wanda confused by childhood
  13. Parson's Klog #5: Parson's Klog: More combat system lamentations & tidbits on unit construction
  14. Page 44: Night passes with a Shakespearean sonnet; Parson gets an idea
  15. Night

  16. Page 45: Misty (the lookamancer) introduced; Parson tries to order nighttime troop movements; Misty protests
  17. Page 46: Parson's plan is shot down; Misty's name revealed, tries to help
  18. Parson's Klog #6: Parson's Klog: Critical combat info, and a plan of action
  19. Page 47: Wanda chews Parson out for messing with the eyemancers, resigns herself to placating Stanley; Parson's plan made sweeter by Ansom's lack of intel

Day 5

    Gobwin Knob's turn

  1. Page 48: Wanda helps Stanley "relax"; Dwagons begin the attack
  2. Page 49: Bat*21 swallowed; Parson has fun as a dispatcher; "Leeeeeeroy..."
  3. Page 50: Jillian reunites with gwiffons, prepares to leave; dwagons wreak havoc on battle bears and tower
  4. Page 51: Jillian argues with Webinar over leaving; Webinar appeals to Ansom via Charlie's Archons' Thinkagram
  5. Page 52: Ansom celebrates "victories"... outlook reversed by unit reports
  6. Page 53: Parson interrupts Sizemore's dirtamancy, discusses Misty situation over EyeM
  7. Page 54: Parson & Sizemore discuss mathamancy, Parson's wristwatch, & the eyemancers
  8. Page 55: Parson explains his combat moves to Stanley
  9. Royal Crown Coalition's turn

  10. Page 56: Ansom & Vinny plan their response
  11. Page 57: Ansom shows he has an Evel side; stack one buys the farm
  12. Page 58: Ansom decides to go all in... literally
  13. Page 59: Ansom & company defeat the three dwagons; center hex revealed to contain trees, and little else
  14. Page 60: Parson reveals the full scope of his plan; Stanley takes the credit
  15. Page 61: Ansom and Vinny discuss implications of an empty center hex, charge anyway; Wanda mentions "veiling" of units, shocks Parson
  16. Page 62: Vinny presents two options: The Flight (through a ring of dwagon breath) and The Stand; Ansom chooses third: The Hunt
  17. Page 63: Jillian ditches Webinar & Dora, departs to search for dwagons; called "mean" by an Archon; agrees
  18. Page 64: Parson & Sizemore worry about Wanda's control of Jillian; Wanda gets defensive; Stanley pours over map; Jillian advances to hex adjacent to wounded dwagons
  19. Page 65: Jillian rationalizes abandoning hunt to self, Archons as saving Ansom from own ideal, locates wounded dwagons anyway; one Archon named (Jaclyn)
  20. Page 66: Parson et al. continue to argue about Wanda's spell upon Jillian; Jillian begins to rationalize not attacking.
  21. Page 67: Jaclyn elaborates on Wanda's spell over Jillian, against other Archons' wishes; Jillian admits to liking being part of Wanda's machinations; Jaclyn suggests Jillian phones a friend
  22. Page 68: Ansom & Vinny discuss the possibility that Jillian has betrayed them; Jillian sends Ansom a scathing thinkagram, but promises to croak some dwagons
  23. Page 69: Jillian begins the assault; Archons blast/vaporize/slice 'n' dice one dwagon each, pose for camera
  24. Page 70: Jillian jumps onto Leeroy's dwagon, headshots Leeroy; Parson orders remaining units to croak Jillian
  25. Page 71: Wanda opposes croaking Jillian; Stanley supports it; Manpower's kill (and uncroakness) yoinked by Ansom's Arkenpliers; Ansom & Jillian share a smile; Vinny croaks a dwagon with a kick
  26. Page 72: Stanley blows a microchip, orders Parson, Sizemore, and Wanda out of his sight; Wanda blows a microchip, becomes catatonic; Stanley orders all field units back to Gobwin Knob, eyemancers to unlink
  27. Night

  28. Page 73: Ansom & Vinny contemplate the day's victories & the next day's hardships; Vinny gets his Fonzie on with battle-damaged Archons; Jillian bivouacs with Ansom on his carpet
  29. Page 74: Parson and Sizemore discuss their various possible fates, discover that Bogroll took Parson's order to pretend to be him a bit too seriously

Day 6

    Pre-dawn

  1. Page 75: Stanley attempts to restore one of the eyemancers to sanity, orders Mung to assemble the knights at dawn ("in full paint"); Sizemore attempts to dissuade Bogroll from waking Parson, waking Parson in the process
  2. Gobwin Knob's turn

  3. Page 76: Parson berates Sizemore, relates intent to confront Stanley; Knights In Stanley's Service (KISS) assemble in courtyard
  4. Page 77: Stanley departs Gobwin Knob with the foolamancer, three knights, and remaining dwagons; Parson finds Misty, apparently croaked
  5. Parson's Klog #7: Parson's Klog: Stupid unit roster; Misty confirmed croaked
  6. Parson's Klog #8: Parson's Klog: Parson ponders the reality, unreality, cuteness, and tragicness of Erfworld
  7. Page 78: Parson inspects the tunnels, reflects on puns, possibility of being hospitalized in "real world"
  8. Page 79: Parson attempts to wake self, fails; Sizemore recounts Stanley's rise to power
  9. Parson's Klog #9: Parson's Klog: Sizemore making the tunnels more defensible; alliances, royals, and divine mandate
  10. Royal Crown Coalition's turn

  11. Page 80: Ansom & Vinny review Jillian's claim to know Stanley's actions
  12. Night

  13. Page 81: "Veiled" dwagons appear as blimps; Jillian prepares to relate her back story
  14. Page 82: Jillian Zamussels mutually hated her liege, King Banhammer of Faq; Jillian identifies salad fork and eyeball fork as one and the same
  15. Page 83: Jillian confirms Wanda worked for Faq; Ansom fails to see past Jillian's lineage
  16. Page 84: Maggie (the thinkamancer) introduced; Parson debriefs her, learns that Jack's condition & Misty's death resulted from thinkamancy spell-failure backlash
  17. Parson's Klog #10: Parson's Klog: Dirtamancers boost golems, croakamancers boost undead; natural thinkamancy inhibits free will?
  18. Page 85: Bedtime; Bogroll's greatest ambition: to save Parson's life

Day 7

    Gobwin Knob's turn

  1. Page 86: Veiled dwagons de-spoof; Parson receives a sword ricasso with breakfast; "Subway" wrapper lists Royal Crown Coalition makeup
  2. Page 87: Sizemore hits scouting Marbit stack with "excessive force" (four hard-rock golems)
  3. Page 88: Arkendish named, located with Charlie; Parson & Maggie contact Charlie; Parson references All Your Base, Mork & Mindy
  4. Page 89: Parson offers Charlie his wristwatch/mathamancy bracer; dwagons re-veil as parade balloons
  5. Page 90: Ansom & advisers discuss implications of rock golems' attack on scouts; Jillian & Vinny dress as greasers, anticipating dance fighting; Charlie rejects Parson's offer, assures him that he will survive the battle; Parson plans one more thinkagram
  6. Page 91: Parson "calls" Ansom, denounces royalty as obsolete; Ansom makes a scene in front of alliance leadership; "superior" Stanley strangles foolamancer in outrage
  7. Page 92: Parson bluffs about allying with alliance members, spoofs Dr. Evil; Stanley interrupts Parson's call, asking how to fix foolamancer; foolamancer's name forgotten by Stanley, unknown by Maggie
  8. Royal Crown Coalition's turn

  9. Page 93: Ansom & Vinny exchange angry stares over Ansom's fit; Ansom gives Jillian & Vinny their orders, to break their alliance in order to change the turn order; Jillian quotes Grease
  10. Page 94: Jillian's flight approaches the tower of Efdup unchallenged; Jillian confronts a (somewhat) recovered Wanda; orly: O HAI
  11. Page 95: Jillian prompts Wanda to defect, plans to slay Stanley when Wanda refuses; Jaclyn warns that Wanda is free of loyalty spells; Wanda casts several cheat codes and AGGROs
  12. Page 96: Jaclyn's, Pegataurs' flesh burned from their bones (apparently they failed their saving throws)
  13. Page 97: Ansom charges Webinar with command of Jetstone & Marbit forces (and only Jetstone & Marbit forces) in the tunnels
  14. Page 98: Parson explains that unlike Stanley, he still values Wanda after her failure; Wanda, speech-impaired, begins raising fallen Archons
  15. Parson's Klog #11: Parson's Klog: Parson explains Gobwin Knob's defensive zones, speculates upon Ansom's plan, implies that he has a plan of his own
  16. Parson's Klog #12: Parson's Klog: Parson believes Wanda's loyalties still lie with Gobwin Knob; cities without a leader freeze in time unless/until attacked; Parson resolves to play the fight out rather than surrender
  17. Page 99 : Vinny explains the plan to his boss, the Don; we see a preview of the battle to come, with dance fighting
  18. Page 100: Parsons plan relies on Ansom waiting until his forces are assembled (a fairly safe bet, knowing Ansom); Charlie hacks Parson's eyebook, proposes a business deal; Coalition forces surround the walls
  19. Night

  20. Page 101: Ansom's allies dissent over Ansom's inaction; Ansom justifies himself; Parson experiments with what he can say without being censored
  21. Page 102: Parson plans to order the casters to the Magic Kingdom should the battle go south; Sizemore worries not for his own life but for the lives of those he is ordered to kill, hates Parson for it
  22. Page 103: Parson asks Wanda not to leave to help Stanley, reveals his bargain with Charlie to abandon the hunt for Stanley in exchange for 12 calculations - the first two of which concerned a (hypothetical?) attack on GK by Charlie; Parson feels played, is glad that Wanda doesn't laugh

Day 8

    Transylvito and Charlescomm's turns

  1. Page 104: Caesar Borgata and company join with Jillian's stack, relieve her; Maggie casts "Ephedra" on Parson to clear his mind; Charlie's Archons arrive at GK, taking the first turn of the day; Charlie asks Parson up to the parapet
  2. Page 105 : Parson rebuffs Charlie, giving his chances of not losing the city within one turn at 58.9%; Charlie leaves his archons in place, "to assist if necessary"
  3. Page 106: Parson receives the rest of his sword in his breakfast Luckamancy Charms; sword's functions (leadership, combat, & ruthlessness) enumerated
  4. Gobwin Knob's turn

  5. Page 107: Caesar was sent to compensate for lack of archons; Faq used Jack, the foolamancer, to stay hidden from Transylvito and others; Parson learned Jack's name from Wanda, orders Sizemore to begin liquid and gas traps, Maggie to contact Jack
  6. Page 108: Parson contacts the foolamancer, one Jack Snipe; in the tunnels, golems mix an unknown powder ("REDOX"), set off a flaming liquid trap ("FITH") near Webinar's regiment
  7. Page 109: Parson's efforts to snap Jack back to reality are apparently in vain; Parson sends gobwins into tunnels, to attack infantry and corral heavies & warlords
  8. Page 110: Stanley tries to appeal to Jack's sense of self-preservation to cast a real veil, while flying into the Doombats' trap; decides to punch through
  9. Page 111: Webinar finds Sizemore; Parson sends in the remaining knights, riding spidews; Doombats sing West Side Story; Stanley air-guitars with Arkenhammer, sings KISS
  10. Page 112: Webinar and Dora confront Sizemore; Sizemore heals a golem, which PKs Dora and Webinar; Sizemore laments, reports the rout; Parson discovers a new uncensored word: "Hosed, hosed, hosed!"
  11. Page 113: Vinny breaks down the odds - unled bats are weak, but with Caesar, the chief warlord for Transylvito, in the hex, they are more formidable; Stanley Van de Graffs Caesar; Jillian recognizes Jack, and Jack, Jillian
  12. Page 114: Jillian and gwiffons engage Stanley, croaking his mount; Jillian implores Jack to turn; Stanley flies himself and Jack up with Arkenhammer while Jack, restored to sanity, casts a veil
  13. Page 115: Jillian and co search for Stanley, discover that croaked dwagon is a fake; Stanley and Jack, still mounted, escape hex
  14. Page 116: Unable to read the Titans' will, Stanley takes Jack's suggestion to return to Gobwin Knob; uncroaked units' strength depends on the effort spent creating them; many units can be uncroaked together, but they'll be weak; Wanda uncroaks 1000+ Jetstone infantry
  15. Parson's Klog #13: Parson explains the layout of the garrison, meditates on having caused the deaths of so many enemy troops, the effect of that on Sizemore, and his responsibility to his own men
  16. Royal Crown Coalition's turn

  17. Page 117: The coalition is demoralized by Parson's new reinforcements, but Ansom pulls them back together, gets reckless with his statuesque keister to punch a hole through the uncroaked on the wall
  18. Page 118: Ansom fights uncroaked alone; siege units attack walls; Archons watch
  19. Page 119: Parson tries to out-guess Charlie, sends Wanda with uncroaked fliers to attack Ansom; Wanda stutters through battle song
  20. Page 120: Wanda locks Ansom's Arkenpliers, Webinar knocks them from his grasp, and him from his carpet; Ansom enters contract negotiations with an Archon
  21. Page 121: Ansom accepts Charlie's outrageous terms; Archons destroy all fliers in hex; Wanda is shielded (though her mount is not)
  22. Page 122: Wanda hovers on death's door as Ansom dives, retrieves pliers, monologues; Wanda dares him to touch her with them; Ansom declines; Sizemore and golems arrive from below to safeguard Wanda; Ansom returns to fight at wall
  23. Page 123: Sizemore takes Wanda to the dungeon to heal her; Parson outlines his latest tactic to Maggie; Parson relocates command to dungeon to personally inspect Wanda's "private stash" - and prepare for battle
  24. Page 124: Sizemore finds various magic spells in Wanda's stash; the casters challenge Parson's status as Perfect Warlord; Parson lectures them about strategy; the coalition troops at the courtyard gates
  25. Page 125: Parson explains combat bonuses, gives battle instructions to the casters; Ansom and the coalition warlords argue whether they should wait for the next turn or press the assault
  26. Page 126: Ansom gives battle instructions to the coalition troops; Sizemore and his golems attack two coalition warlords with Shockmancy; a crap golem explodes
  27. Page 127: The coalition troops break into the courtyard; Parson tells Bogroll that they still have a chance; Wanda leads uncroaked infantry into a dance-fight
  28. Page 128: The uncroaked inflict massive losses on the coalition infantry; Ansom negotiates with Archons; Archons relay directions for a dance-fight to the coalition troops
  29. Page 129: Parson orders a concentrated attack on Ansom; Maggie disrupts some Archons; the courtyard wall is down; Parson orders a general retreat into the dungeon; Parson gives Bogroll a mission
  30. Page 130: Parson contact Charlie and asks for a truce to surrender; Charlie reveals that he wants to get Parson and his bracer; Ansom flies up to the tower parapet to accept Parson's surrender
  31. Page 131: Ansom taunts surrendering Parson; Parson is revealed to be Bogroll in disguise; Bogroll knocks Ansom off his flying carpet and they fall down
  32. Page 132: Ansom and Bogroll are croaked; Parson orders Sizemore to collapse the tower and dungeons; Sizemore wrecks as much of Gobwin Knob as possible
  33. Page 133: Parson and remaining troops prepare for a last stand in the dungeon; a few enemy units break in, but are dispatched; Parson orders the casters into the Portal Room
  34. Page 134: Parson offers the casters to use the portal; they tell him Duty demands that he does not give up; Parson orders the casters to link up and uncroak the volcano
  35. Page 135: The casters magically merge their minds; Wanda and Sizemore uncroak the volcano together
  36. Page 136: Parson orders the casters into the portal; Charlie tries to make a deal; Parson runs into the portal
  37. Page 137: The volcano erupts; coalition troops die in a fire
  38. Page 138: Vinny tells Jillian they are not going after Stanley; Caesar tells them that all coalition troops at Gobwin are destroyed; Jillian leaps at Caesar at the news of Ansom's death
  39. Page 139: Vinny tells Caesar to back off; Vinny tries to console Jillian; they share a moment of grief
  40. Page 140: Parson is opposed by casters in the Magic Kingdom and gets Vulcan Nerve Pinched; Janis calls for Thinkamancers to break the link between Maggie, Sizemore and Wanda
  41. Night

  42. Page 141: Sizemore complains to Janis about Parson; Janis urges Sizemore to help and teach Parson, suggests that Parson may bring peace to Erfworld
  43. Page 142: Parson and the casters are forced to return to Gobwin Knob; they find it in ruins; Sizemore finds gems; Wanda finds the Arkenpliers and attunes to them
  44. Page 143: Parson muses on death and destruction that he caused; Wanda dismisses his complaints and digs up Ansom's corpse

Day 9

  1. Page 144: Stanley is on his way to Gobwin Knob; new turn starts; a dwagon pops up; Wanda reanimates Ansom with the Arkenpliers
  2. Page 145: Ansom's stats, zealotry prove to have survived decryption; Wanda turns the Arkenpliers on the rest of the army
  3. Page 146: Arkenpliers' limits tested; Bogroll confirmed to be Killed Off For Real; Wanda expresses gratitude-like emotion
  4. Page 147: Wanda answers long-standing Faq FAQs, commiserates about Fate; Parson appears unconvinced
  5. Page 148: Sizemore goes rock hunting; Parson and Maggie discuss Thinkamancy, compare monstrosities
  6. Pages 149-150: Parson defies fate, breaks boop filter, ends book on auspicious note.

Epilogue

Turns since TBfGK: 1 (10 AW)

  1. Epilogue 1: Parson finds it ridiculous how quickly the city is rebuilt once Stanley allocates the funding.
  2. Epilogue 2: Stanley returns with most of his dwagon contingent; Parson explores the new Gobwin Knob.
  3. Epilogue 3: Stanley surveys his domain, comments on his side's new livery, glees at Ansom's Face Heel Turn.
  4. Epilogue 4: Stanley lands, proves confused and apprehensive over Wanda's attunement and mood; Wanda shows off cool tricks thus far.
  5. Epilogue 5: Ansom talks re-popping, references Prince; Stanley unable to gloat, compensates by fishing for gossip.
  6. Epilogue 6: Parson plays with his bracer, contemplates the invention of folding chairs; Maggie and Sizemore culture-shocked; brick-throwing classified as archery.
  7. Epilogue 7: Archons provide celebratory fireworks; dwagons get spooked; Stanley blows up own head.
  8. Epilogue 8: Thinking about war bothers Parson, but would not thinking about war be any better?
  9. Epilogue 9: Stanley "apologizes", breaks news of Ansom's promotion; Parson takes it well; Maggie speaks her mind.
  10. Epilogue 10: Caesar mocks Jillian, delivers "royal invitation"; Jillian accepts (unwillingly); Vinny smells a fish.
  11. Epilogue 11: Transylvitans chat about Carpool; Vinny holds his tongue; Jillian stews.
  12. Epilogue 12: Escort camps in the rain; Transylvitan capital still two days away; Jillian kvetches about moving under her max speed, speculates on Caesar's diet.

Turns since TBfGK: 2 (11 AW)

  1. Epilogue 13: Escort stops at Aqua Velva; Jillian spears one of the mayor's pet fish as provisions; conversation touches upon names and titles.
  2. Epilogue 14: Vinny asks Jillian to mind her manners when "meeting his parents"; Jillian still a woman of few words, but spares a few choice ones for her own dad.
  3. Epilogue 15: Escort grabs horned sheep for dinner; Transylvitans sing campfire rock.

Turns since TBfGK: 3 (12 AW)

  1. Epilogue 16: Dawn arrives before Transylvito's turn; Jillian nurses a fire; Vinny tames a bat, puts himself in Don King's shoes.
  2. Epilogue 17: First glimpse of Transylvito proper, surrounding terrain, defense forces; escort grabs a drink from the nearby Skanks; Jillian promotes herself to Chief Party-Pooper.
  3. Epilogue 18: Jillian arrives in the Transylvito throne room, exchanges formalities with Don King, really needs to pee.
  4. Epilogue 19: Jillian tells Don King about Faq's Foolamantic defenses, proposes a rematch with Stanley; Don King reminds her of the first bout's mysterious ending; indoor plumbing introduced.
  5. Epilogue 20: Jillian expresses her disdain for tea, "royal life"; Don King gives an object lesson.
  6. Epilogue 21: Jillian and Don King talk about the three Rs: Royalty, Radishes, and Rebuilding; Jillian fights an inner ambush, throws a teapot.

First Intermission

Events after the battle, while Gobwin Knob conquers back its former cities.

TBFGK 53.jpg

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TBFGK Epilogue

Turns since TBfGK: 1 (10 AW)

  1. Epilogue 1: Parson finds it ridiculous how quickly the city is rebuilt once Stanley allocates the funding.
  2. Epilogue 2: Stanley returns with most of his dwagon contingent; Parson explores the new Gobwin Knob.
  3. Epilogue 3: Stanley surveys his domain, comments on his side's new livery, glees at Ansom's Face Heel Turn.
  4. Epilogue 4: Stanley lands, proves confused and apprehensive over Wanda's attunement and mood; Wanda shows off cool tricks thus far.
  5. Epilogue 5: Ansom talks re-popping, references Prince; Stanley unable to gloat, compensates by fishing for gossip.
  6. Epilogue 6: Parson plays with his bracer, contemplates the invention of folding chairs; Maggie and Sizemore culture-shocked; brick-throwing classified as archery.
  7. Epilogue 7: Archons provide celebratory fireworks; dwagons get spooked; Stanley blows up own head.
  8. Epilogue 8: Thinking about war bothers Parson, but would not thinking about war be any better?
  9. Epilogue 9: Stanley "apologizes", breaks news of Ansom's promotion; Parson takes it well; Maggie speaks her mind.
  10. Epilogue 10: Caesar mocks Jillian, delivers "royal invitation"; Jillian accepts (unwillingly); Vinny smells a fish.
  11. Epilogue 11: Transylvitans chat about Carpool; Vinny holds his tongue; Jillian stews.
  12. Epilogue 12: Escort camps in the rain; Transylvitan capital still two days away; Jillian kvetches about moving under her max speed, speculates on Caesar's diet.

Turns since TBfGK: 2 (11 AW)

  1. Epilogue 13: Escort stops at Aqua Velva; Jillian spears one of the mayor's pet fish as provisions; conversation touches upon names and titles.
  2. Epilogue 14: Vinny asks Jillian to mind her manners when "meeting his parents"; Jillian still a woman of few words, but spares a few choice ones for her own dad.
  3. Epilogue 15: Escort grabs horned sheep for dinner; Transylvitans sing campfire rock.

Turns since TBfGK: 3 (12 AW)

  1. Epilogue 16: Dawn arrives before Transylvito's turn; Jillian nurses a fire; Vinny tames a bat, puts himself in Don King's shoes.
  2. Epilogue 17: First glimpse of Transylvito proper, surrounding terrain, defense forces; escort grabs a drink from the nearby Skanks; Jillian promotes herself to Chief Party-Pooper.
  3. Epilogue 18: Jillian arrives in the Transylvito throne room, exchanges formalities with Don King, really needs to pee.
  4. Epilogue 19: Jillian tells Don King about Faq's Foolamantic defenses, proposes a rematch with Stanley; Don King reminds her of the first bout's mysterious ending; indoor plumbing introduced.
  5. Epilogue 20: Jillian expresses her disdain for tea, "royal life"; Don King gives an object lesson.
  6. Epilogue 21: Jillian and Don King talk about the three Rs: Royalty, Radishes, and Rebuilding; Jillian fights an inner ambush, throws a teapot.

LIAB Prologue

Turns since TBfGK: 3 (12 AW)

  1. Prologue 1: Parson and Charlie talk Caster Links, mind games.
  2. Prologue 2: Zhopa the Twoll introduced; Parson packs a picnic lunch.
  3. Prologue 3: Parson, Sizemore, and Maggie take a stroll; Parson learns about Erban development (Gobwin Knob real estate is a buyer's market) and talks about home.
  4. Prologue 4: Discussion of aesthetics continues on to the topic of graphic design; Fabrication officially linked to Twolls, Dollamancy; Sizemore and Maggie play catch-the-buck over Gobwin Knob's new style.
  5. Prologue 5: Maggie explains two-caster links, speculates on Stanley's mental state; the trio continue their walk towards the city gates.
  6. Prologue 6: Parson reaches hex boundary, takes a peek through his magic specs; Maggie tells a joke; Erfworld proves to be more stubborn than we had hoped.
  7. Prologue 7: Magic Kingdom revealed to be mostly philosophers with juice; Parson warned against going there again, settles for more Q&A with Maggie and Sizemore; Sizemore breaks out the apple brandy.
  8. Prologue 8: Parson gets a crash course in general relativity, boggles afresh at Erfworld's idiosyncratic physics.
  9. Prologue 9: Maggie hits the brandy a bit too hard, feels like she's on Earth, takes advantage of her helmet's loyalty.
  10. Prologue 10: Parson tries things.
  11. Prologue 11: Parson gets in the saddle, squashes a Banana.

Turns since TBfGK: 4 (13 AW)

  1. Prologue 12: Ansom and Wanda visit sunny Warchalking.
  2. Prologue 13: Wrigley loses his spear, then loses his head.

Turns since TBfGK: 8 (17 AW)

  1. Prologue 14: Stanley chews out Parson for not knowing how to do his rounds; Parson sends Stanley dwagon-hunting.

Turns since TBfGK: 11 (20 AW)

  1. Prologue 15: Parson and Jack discuss fashion and the burdens of talent.

Turns since TBfGK: 18 (27 AW)

  1. Prologue 16: Vinny visits the new and improved Faq, bearing bad news.

Turns since TBfGK: 19 (28 AW)

  1. Prologue 17: Parson and Jack drown their boredom in battle simulations.

Turns since TBfGK: 20 (29 AW)

  1. Prologue 18: Charlie tries to find out what Gobwin Knob's got up its sleeve, and gets more than he bargained for.

Turns since TBfGK: 23 (32 AW)

  1. Prologue 19: Prince Tramennis arrives at Dhrystone, informs Ossomer of their brother's alleged fate.

Turns since TBfGK: 24 (33 AW)

  1. Prologue 20: Jillian rides a Megalogwiff, waits for one call, and gets another.

Turns since TBfGK: 29 (38 AW)

  1. Prologue 21: Ansom "relaxes" with Stanley, and thinks about how war is changing.

Turns since TBfGK: 31 (40 AW)

  1. Prologue 22: Don King gets a love letter.

Turns since TBfGK: 38 (47 AW)

  1. Prologue 23: Parson and Maggie take a walk and discuss... logistics. Bow-chicka-bow-wow.
  2. Prologue 24: Parson braves the peril to get some answers about Charlie.
  3. Prologue 25: Parson ignores his little buddy, plays 8 questions, and sets a date with Ginger and MaryAnn.

Turns since TBfGK: 52 (61 AW)

  1. Prologue 26: Caesar Borgata is up on the roof in Chocula, and gets a call from Bunny; learns next morning that Transylvito is popping new Royal Heir.

Turns since TBfGK: 54 (63 AW)

  1. Prologue 27: Parson chats with Charlie again. Ansom made diplomatic contacts, trying to spread Toolism.

Turns since TBfGK: 55 (64 AW)

  1. Prologue 28: Jillian recalls how, on Day 42 (51 AW), she 'visited' the neighbor kingdom Jitterati, attacked the cities Kona and Valdez, got the Western Giants to become her Natural Allies, and captured the warlord Duncan Scone. On Day 55 (64 AW), she leaves Faq on a dangerous mission.

Love Is a Battlefield

Book 2 : The campagne to conquer Spacerock, Jetstone's capital.

Prologue

Turns since TBfGK: 3 (12 AW)

  1. Prologue 1: Parson and Charlie talk Caster Links, mind games.
  2. Prologue 2: Zhopa the Twoll introduced; Parson packs a picnic lunch.
  3. Prologue 3: Parson, Sizemore, and Maggie take a stroll; Parson learns about Erban development (Gobwin Knob real estate is a buyer's market) and talks about home.
  4. Prologue 4: Discussion of aesthetics continues on to the topic of graphic design; Fabrication officially linked to Twolls, Dollamancy; Sizemore and Maggie play catch-the-buck over Gobwin Knob's new style.
  5. Prologue 5: Maggie explains two-caster links, speculates on Stanley's mental state; the trio continue their walk towards the city gates.
  6. Prologue 6: Parson reaches hex boundary, takes a peek through his magic specs; Maggie tells a joke; Erfworld proves to be more stubborn than we had hoped.
  7. Prologue 7: Magic Kingdom revealed to be mostly philosophers with juice; Parson warned against going there again, settles for more Q&A with Maggie and Sizemore; Sizemore breaks out the apple brandy.
  8. Prologue 8: Parson gets a crash course in general relativity, boggles afresh at Erfworld's idiosyncratic physics.
  9. Prologue 9: Maggie hits the brandy a bit too hard, feels like she's on Earth, takes advantage of her helmet's loyalty.
  10. Prologue 10: Parson tries things.
  11. Prologue 11: Parson gets in the saddle, squashes a Banana.

Turns since TBfGK: 4 (13 AW)

  1. Prologue 12: Ansom and Wanda visit sunny Warchalking.
  2. Prologue 13: Wrigley loses his spear, then loses his head.

Turns since TBfGK: 8 (17 AW)

  1. Prologue 14: Stanley chews out Parson for not knowing how to do his rounds; Parson sends Stanley dwagon-hunting.

Turns since TBfGK: 11 (20 AW)

  1. Prologue 15: Parson and Jack discuss fashion and the burdens of talent.

Turns since TBfGK: 18 (27 AW)

  1. Prologue 16: Vinny visits the new and improved Faq, bearing bad news.

Turns since TBfGK: 19 (28 AW)

  1. Prologue 17: Parson and Jack drown their boredom in battle simulations.

Turns since TBfGK: 20 (29 AW)

  1. Prologue 18: Charlie tries to find out what Gobwin Knob's got up its sleeve, and gets more than he bargained for.

Turns since TBfGK: 23 (32 AW)

  1. Prologue 19: Prince Tramennis arrives at Dhrystone, informs Ossomer of their brother's alleged fate.

Turns since TBfGK: 24 (33 AW)

  1. Prologue 20: Jillian rides a Megalogwiff, waits for one call, and gets another.

Turns since TBfGK: 29 (38 AW)

  1. Prologue 21: Ansom "relaxes" with Stanley, and thinks about how war is changing.

Turns since TBfGK: 31 (40 AW)

  1. Prologue 22: Don King gets a love letter.

Turns since TBfGK: 38 (47 AW)

  1. Prologue 23: Parson and Maggie take a walk and discuss... logistics. Bow-chicka-bow-wow.
  2. Prologue 24: Parson braves the peril to get some answers about Charlie.
  3. Prologue 25: Parson ignores his little buddy, plays 8 questions, and sets a date with Ginger and MaryAnn.

Turns since TBfGK: 52 (61 AW)

  1. Prologue 26: Caesar Borgata is up on the roof in Chocula, and gets a call from Bunny; learns next morning that Transylvito is popping new Royal Heir.

Turns since TBfGK: 54 (63 AW)

  1. Prologue 27: Parson chats with Charlie again. Ansom made diplomatic contacts, trying to spread Toolism.

Turns since TBfGK: 55 (64 AW)

  1. Prologue 28: Jillian recalls how, on Day 42 (51 AW), she 'visited' the neighbor kingdom Jitterati, attacked the cities Kona and Valdez, got the Western Giants to become her Natural Allies, and captured the warlord Duncan Scone. On Day 55 (64 AW), she leaves Faq on a dangerous mission.

Issue 1: Meet the Jetstones

Day 1 (75 AW)

Gobwin Knob's turn
  1. Page 1: In which something is already going wrong.
    Book 2, Issue 1 begins. Stanley heads to the Situation Room to oversee the confrontation between Ansom and Ossomer; Parson shows up fashionably late.
  2. Page 2: A little trip down to Expository Bridge by way of Memory Lane.
    Parson's position in Gobwin Knob is summarized, as are the turns since the end of Book 1.
  3. Page 3: I've got good news and bad news...
    Princes Ossomer and Tramennis are introduced. Ansom's attempts to parley are thwarted by Ossomer's refusal to listen, Tramennis' refusal to shut up, and Ansom's refusal to stop proselytizing.
  4. Page 4: Ossomer stands his ground, so Ansom takes flight.
    With negotiations having failed, Ansom turns to rejoin his forces. Ossomer needles him with a parting taunt, which only confirms how many resources Jetstone has committed to holding Exposition Bridge. Ansom reveals that he doesn't need the bridge.
  5. Page 5: The Little Tool Laughed, to See Such Sport
    Stanley delights in watching how Ossomer and Tramennis react, while Wanda consults with Parson on how to proceed. Suspecting a trap, he recommends further reconnaissance.
  6. Page 6: Flash? Aha! It's a miracle!
    Ansom is late to hear about the change in plans, so while Wanda prepares her "grab-and-go" recon plan, Jack explains the details. With the Archons flashing, they're ready to begin.
  7. Page 7: Keep Your Eye On the Lady...
    Lloyd Elliott is introduced, ogling the archons. Gobwin Knob's forces appear to make a charge at Jetstone's casters, but in fact are veiled and targeting Ossomer and Tramennis.
  8. Page 8: The thunderous clatter of splintering wood and lives that are claimed~
    Tramennis is incapacitated by a pink dwagon. The commander in charge of the archers orders a volley at the veiled attackers, which Lloyd supports by quadrupling the arrows. Jack is wounded and drops the veil. Once revealed, Ossomer dismounts Ansom.
  9. Text Update 1: Sizemore finds sunshine on a cloudy day.
    Sizemore visits the Magic Kingdom and reflects on recent events.
  10. Page 9: Wanda sticks her needle nose into some family business.
    Wanda helps Ansom subdue Ossomer. They retreat with their hostage.
  11. Text Update 2: How is Sizemore like a mushroom? They both thrive when surrounded by crap.
    Sizemore and Janis discuss Parson, war, and friendship.
  12. Page 10: The Death and Return of Ossomer.
    Ansom interrogates Ossomer for Jetstone's plans, while Ossomer tries to appeal to Ansom's old loyalties. Wanda decides to bypass all the debating and has Sylvia croak Ossomer so she can decrypt him. Ossomer reveals the presence of a column of heavies and a force of fliers from Faq led by Jillian.
  13. Text Update 3: Meanwhile, back in the Bat Cave...
    Transylvito parties while waiting for the war to start, and Caesar very carefully ignores Bunny; things go quickly downhill once the fighting starts.
  14. Page 11: Mark this moment... someone tells Wanda no!
    Parson updates the pieces in play while Stanley gloats. Rather than spend a Healomancy scroll, Wanda suggests decryption as a cost-cutting measure vis a vis Jack, but Stanley puts his foot down.
  15. Text Update 4: Vurp gets in touch with his inner Hobgobwin.
    Vurp goes on a walk with Parson and answers his questions about Natural Allies and history.
  16. Text Update 5: A bat and a Bunny can reach places other Units cannot scratch.
    Don King has a doombat watching the battle at Spacerock. With Bunny Velvetino's help, he can see through their eyes, regardless of distance.
  17. Page 12: Tramennis wants to scratch his nose; Jillian prepares to scratch an old itch.
    Tramennis is informed of Ossomer's decryption and his own promotion to Chief Warlord. King Slately meets with Queen Jillian.
  18. Text Update 6: Jillian skulks across the land while she sulks about her band. Titans disband!
    A flashback to Jillian en route to Spacerock. She reflects on having a treasury again, on the obligations she didn't have as a barbarian, and her motivations for getting involved in the coming battle.
  19. Page 13: Parson runs some depressing odds and frightfully annoying questions past Wanda.
    Parson reassesses the the odds of the current plan working with the current enemy deployment, and can't deny that decapitating the Side is the safest bet. Before Wanda can end communications, Parson unsettles her by suggesting that Jillian is out for Ansom instead of her.
  20. Text Update 7: Sammy is ready to rock; but can he roll?
    Prince Sammy of Haggar is informed of Ossomer's fall and rise, and reflects on the the seriousness of the coming fight and King Dickie's proposed plan of betrayal.
  21. Page 14: Parson obeys his master; Ansom obeys his mistress.
    Stanley reminds Parson that he put Ansom in charge of the fight. Ansom objects to how Wanda is handling the next phase of the battle, but she makes it clear that she's in charge of Ansom.
  22. Text Update 8: Lady Lazurus by Sylvia
    Lady Sylvia Lazarus internally poetizes on being called back from death.
  23. Page 15: Wanda's favorite trick was tying a carrot to a stick.
    Tramennis observes Gobwin Knob's forces heading for Spacerock. Ossomer offers his thoughts on the situation while Wanda explains how he's wrong and the differences between sticks and carrots.
  24. Text Update 9: King Slately counts his lies, and argues with truth.
    A flashback to King Slately, the night before the battle. Slately drinks and reflects the nature of the Court, the past, the future, and what it means to be Royal.
  25. Page 16: I was gonna fight you, but then I got high...
    King Slately offers some last-minute unwanted advice to Jillian as she goes to parlay with Wanda, and they decide (as usual) to do things the Hard Way.
  26. Text Update 10: The eyemancer looks back to when the naughtymancer foreshadowed.
    Jack reflects on what it means to be a Foolamancer and remembers a day in Faq when he and Wanda were awaiting Jillian's return and talked of love.
  27. Page 17: When a body meets a body, sittin' way up high...
    Jillian and Wanda get high on the field of battle; have a hard time expressing their feelings.
  28. Text Update 11: Duncan dabbles with duos and decides date-a-mancy dips deeper than digits.
    Duncan Scone uses the Laurel of Napster to plan some matchmaking for the upcoming battle, but when he turns it to Jillian and Wanda the results are... complicated.
  29. Page 18: Jillian makes Wanda an offer that would leave no Side unturned.
    Jillian and Wanda continue to parley and flirt, and Jillian makes a sudden and shocking proposition.
  30. Text Update 12: Ossomer finds a scone a bit tough to chew.
    Ossomer tries to get into his new role of "invader of Spacerock" and engage in some Toolist propaganda, which utterly fails to faze Duncan.
  31. Page 19: Jillian and Wanda wave their Tools of Fate at each other.
    Jillian gets really excited about hooking up with Wanda again and screwing over everyone who'd been counting on her. When Wanda doesn't turn Jillian grasps at straws to understand why, but Wanda explains that it's all about the Arkentools.
  32. Text Update 13: The primary sign of a well ordered mind is the ability to remain in one place and manage one's units.
    Maggie's mind manages the the flow of information from Gobwin Knob's units and she tries to conserve juice for the day ahead. Ansom not leading the attack proves to be too much of an irregularity in the battle plan to let pass without comment.
  33. Page 20: Most trust exercises don't end with sacking a city.
    Jillian offers an alternate tool for Wanda to work with, but Wanda doesn't trust her enough. Wanda says standing aside and letting her forces take Spacerock would convince her, and Jillian goes to have a chat with Vanna.
  34. Text Update 14: Slately tries to take solace in Queen Bea's sacrifice, and is rather forcefully shushed.
    Slately awaits the outcome of the parley, with much pessimism. To pass the time, he tries to question Jillian's Turnamancer about her last days in Unaroyal, but is quickly stopped by an unexpected voice.
  35. Page 21: The King of Radishes asks about the bidding; the Queen pulls an ace out of her hat; and the Turnamancer calls time.
    Jillian returns to the tower and talks with Slately. She orders her Turnamancer to perform, and Stanley is shocked to find that their turn is over.
Royal Crown Coalition's turn
  1. Text Update 15: What's it all about, Antium?
    Tramennis and Adam Antium discuss religion, the purpose of Music and never ending War as they wait for the end.
  2. Page 22: The turn's end turns heads as Vanna prepares another turn when Jillian is finally sure who she came here for.
    Slately and Stanley each react in their own way to the violation of the natural order while Parson immediately starts assessing just how bad a position Gobwin Knob's forces are in. Jillian starts making plans with Vanna to turn a unit, having decided who she came to Spacerock for.
  3. Text Update 16: Don King makes it clear that this is his palace, and not Caesar's.
    Don King muses on the structure of Transylvito's court and what to do with Caesar. After shrinking the party following Ossomer's decryption, everyone is invited back in with the abrupt change in turn and shift in power.
  4. Page 23: Jill wears the previously broken crown and offers Jack a lift home.
    Jillian gathers her forces and makes her position clear to Wanda. Before leaving, she offers Jack a chance to turn to Faq, but he declines.
  5. Text Update 17: Call her the Arkenwrench, because Jillian messes up everyone's plans.
    Charlie contacts Jillian to find out why Gobwin Knob's airforce is still alive, but has to break off to address a developing situation.
  6. Page 24: When Tramennis met Jillian.
    Jillian meets with Tramennis to coordinate the attack on Gobwin Knob's ground forces, but in addition to thinking that the ground troops aren't as important as the targets in the air, Tramennis doesn't trust Haggar enough to risk it.
  7. Text Update 18: I spy with my little eye something you hold dear...
    Charlie's Archons spy on Sammy; Sammy shoots Charlie's Archons; Charlie makes it very clear that Sammy will be joining the attack on Gobwin Knob's ground units properly.
  8. Page 25: Sammy reports for — ahem — duty.
    Haggar's forces arrive in strength, if not in good spirits.
  9. Text Update 19: It's war, Ansom, but not as you know it.
    Ansom reflects on how unnaturally smooth the war had been going since he'd joined Gobwin Knob, before realizing how poorly positioned the ground forces were. Shortly after, things manage to get even worse.
  10. Page 26: Sammy crosses that bridge when he comes to it, and Tramennis discovers how much Jillian does not know.
    Sammy explains how he's not supposed to get support from Jillian and starts his charge, while Tramennis realizes that Jillian isn't being coy but legitimately doesn't know what Charlie's plan is.
  11. Text Update 20: Wanda lets her hair down and calls for a team huddle with a side of beef, a fool, and a burning woman.
    Wanda meets with the leadership she brought to Spacerock's airspace; Ossomer, Jack Snipe and Sylvia Lazurus. She reflects on Fate and the units with her before taking a page from Parson and starting a brainstorming session.
  12. Page 27: Sammy moves in for the kill, but Jillian proves to be a fatal distraction.
    Sammy and his rockers cut through Gobwin Knob's forces to engage Ansom. Jillian closes in on megalo-back to keep them from croaking Ansom. Her shouting distracts Sammy at a crucial moment, leaving him open to a lethal attack from the Gobwin Knob troops.
  13. Page 28: Oh, pick a meaning, Prince. They all fit.
    Jillian gives the order for the Haggar forces to retreat. Parson and Stanley discuss how Ansom is still doomed and who should be the next Chief Warlord, and Jillian confronts Ansom.
  14. Page 29: When Vanna has trouble turning Ansom's head, Jillian smothers him with love.
    Vanna fails to make Ansom switch sides with her Turnamancy. Duncan Scone asks if they should talk again or muster with Jetstone's troops, but Jillian opts to make a surgical strike and capture Ansom then and there. Faq's forces return to Prince Tramennis, who shares a moment with Jillian about how much they enjoyed the maneuver.
  15. Text Update 21: The fool chuckles at the stone tied around the ankles of royalty.
  16. Page 30: Jillian prepares to steam roll a path home and arrange her lover's return .
  17. Text Update 22: The Ford ranger pickups responsibility to at least scratch the rocks before being crushed by them.
  18. Page 31: Two Queens discuss who is a toolist, whilst others disapprove.
  19. Text Update 23: Tramennis leads a teddy bear's picnic to breakfast on salad.
  20. Page 32: Ford gets crushed, Maggie requests and gets permission to make a suggestion, and Parson gets back his job as chief warlord.
  21. Text Update 24: Wrigley's life achieves a glorious climax as his spear finally enters some flesh.
  22. Page 33: The master mind and mind controller exchange a few angry thoughts on the subject of ethics - the latter wins and the former has an ugly thought.

Issue 2: It's Raining Men

Day 1 (75 AW) continued

Royal Crown Coalition's turn continued
  1. Page 33a: Parson reviews what he has learned about just what options he has while off-turn.
  2. Page 33b: Parson's notes continue with details of the Garrison/Airspace zone boundary.
  3. Page 34: The Don pops a recap into Caesar.
  4. Text Update 25: Tramennis weighs up the weight flying above him as well as that upon his shoulders.
  5. Page 35: The King of Bats counsels reason, while the King of Radishes contemplates starvation.
  6. Text Update 26: Zhopa makes a ham sandwich, whilst Stanley makes a meal of it.
  7. Page 36: The pizza-stained warlord plans a food fight.
  8. Text Update 27: Stanley regales Zhopa with, and answers the frequently asked questions about, the fall of Faq.
  9. Page 37: Slately stands, then Tramennis stands up to him when he takes a stand on understanding an outstanding communicator and an upstanding warlord.
  10. Text Update 28: Jillian pushes around the goo of her feelings, whilst Ansom is pushed around by the goo of a megalogwiff.
  11. Page 38: Despite Jillian and Tramennis' best efforts, it is Parson who makes the call.
  12. Text Update 29: Two Toolists compare their encounters with a Tool of the Titans as well as with a Tool of Fate.
  13. Page 39: Jillian is unimpressed with Charlie's lucky charms.
  14. Text Update 30: With Cubbins' help, Ace Hardware's stores becomes a helpful place.
  15. Page 40: Parson tells Maggie he takes his game pieces seriously, and then goes to play dress-up; Tramennis gets a taste of the rainbow.
  16. Text Update 31: Uhura gets dirty with a dirtamancer, and we learn that bad news comes in Fibbonacci sequences.
  17. Page 41: In a switch, Charlie tries to hire Tramennis with the promise of dirt on a potato.
  18. Page 42: Parson plans a trip after his shameless self-promotion.
  19. Text Update 32: Duncan enjoys an unstoppable mount. But he enjoys stopping the unstoppable warlord more.
  20. Page 43: The radishes consider a parley with a potato.
  21. Page 44: Tramennis prepares for a conference; Parson prepares for a combat.
  22. Text Update 33: A short father takes a long walk with his last son.
  23. Page 45: Parson orders Wanda to evacuate some air, and Sizemore to evacuate some ground.
  24. Text Update 34: Benjamin is not averse to be an observant servant in verse.
  25. Page 46: Parson pits caster against caster and brother against brother.
  26. Text Update 35: How is a foolamancer like a croakamancer? They both choose to be first in war rather than third (or second) in love.
  27. Page 47: Spacerock's prince poops on Ossomer's new suit and dwagons poop on Spacerock.
  28. Text Update 36: Crap happens... to fall on Duke Adam Antium and his troops.
  29. Page 48: Tramennis mistakes tactics for tantrums.
  30. Page 48a: Parson's eyebook explores harvest exploits.
  31. Page 49: Dwagons fall down.
  32. Text Update 37: A predictamancer prophesies Parson's pending Portal Park presence.
  33. Page 50: Jack acts the fool and the Cure.
  34. Text Update 38: Maggie hopes a great mind plucks her G-String.
  35. Page 51: Jack and Wanda discuss the weather; Adam drowns in it.
  36. Text Update 39: Sylvia commands Fud and Archer. How it turned out was this: Awesome.
  37. Page 52: A Prince plans to port his pater; Parson plans to pass a portal.
  38. Text Update 40: Isaac discovers the gravity of the situation.
  39. Page 53: Jetstone's Prince reassesses his strategy; Jetsone's King reassesses his princes.
  40. Text Update 41: In the huddle, Ace Hardware tries to change the play on the field, but the others decide to pass.
  41. Page 54: Wanda wants to go around, Jack and Sylvia want to blow things up, and Caesar wants better intel.
  42. Text Update 42: Slately rediscovers honor. "You come to me and you say, 'Don King, give me justice.' But you didn’t ask with respect; you didn’t offer friendship — you didn’t even call me 'godfather.'"
  43. Page 55: Wanda has no trouble securing a portal for Parson; Don King has trouble securing a loan for Slately.
  44. Text Update 43: At Progrock, Jillian makes rocks, but Ansom seeks progress.
  45. Page 56: Hamster and Caesar plan for their respective Sides' futures while contemplating that their own futures may be brief.
  46. Text Update 44: Alone with his thoughts, Stanley realizes he is lonelier than most.
  47. Page 57: Met by Janis and Marie Lavraie, Sizemore takes the high road while making a low one.
  48. Text Update 45: Marie and Janis go digging for dirt, but Sizemore has dug himself as deep as he'll go. Can you dig it?
  49. Page 58: Isaac plans to drop in on Parson who plans to drop in on Tramennis who plans to drop in on Slately.
  50. Text Update 46: Adam Antium and Lacrosse hope to score with Wanda.
  51. Page 59: Caesar's full house beats a pair of kings.
  52. Text Update 47: Ossomer sees a Sign in his father's eyes, and prepares for the ultimate Duty.
  53. Page 60: Tramennis is heard, Parson is seen, and both of them fall.
  54. Text Update 48: Slately needs a plan. He loses a King but finds an unexpected Ace.
  55. Page 61: Parson and Jeftichew make mad dashes, as Janis and Marie connect mad dots.
  56. Text Update 49: After chewing on his sandwich, Stanley promotes Zhopa to lackey and takes him to chew out Maggie.
  57. Page 62: Jeftichew offers Parson free will.
  58. Text Update 50: Artemis goes hunting for scarlet and purple prey.
  59. Page 63: Jeftichew asks Parson if he wants to get stupid.
  60. Text Update 51: A stone falls, Artemis' arrow falls, Ossomer's tower falls, and Sylvia smiles.
  61. Page 64: Sizemore, Janis, and Marie crash the party, but Jeftichew still gives a gift.
  62. Text Update 52: It's knights vs. dwagons, archer vs. archer, and Lazarus vs. Oblivion.
  63. Page 65: Sizemore makes introductions. Parson impresses Janis, but not Marie.
  64. Page 66: Parson chooses to jet for Jetstone. The Thinkamancers order a layover at their temple.
  65. Page 67: Some math facts: P<GMTA; P+S+M+J>GMTA. But can you count on Janis?
  66. Page 68: The Great Minds that Think Alike are stumped by the followers of one who thinks like no other.
  67. Page 69: While Slately gets a change of clothes, does Ossomer have a change of heart?.
  68. Text Update 53: ♪So no one told them life was going to be this way...♪
  69. Page 70: A Captain must steer between fatalism and foolishness.
  70. Page 71: Parson learns that the thinkamancers don't think that the predictamancers will act unpredictably.
  71. Page 72: A Predictamancer, Parson, Jack, Sylvia, and Stanley ask "What's going on here?"
  72. Page 73: One side comes together in the Magic Kingdom and another kingdom collapses along one side.
  73. Text Update 54: Hats off to Cubbins as an ace takes to the sky.
  74. Page 74: Cubbins throws his hat in the air. The issue ends; we graduate to issue 3!

Issue 3: Lots of Sects, and Violence

Day 1 (75 AW)

Royal Crown Coalition's turn continued
  1. Text Update 55: War goes by and comes to Mary Sagittari.
    The history of Count Topotato and how he led to the popping of Mary's stack of archers, and several defining moments from her life.
  2. Page 75: Orders up!
    Ossomer starts the attack on Gobwin Knob's archons, and the archons figure out what to do about it.
  3. Page 76: Once more, for Jetstone!
    Slately refuses to escape, and insists on joining the hunt for archons for the bounty, and for honor.
  4. Page 77: Pew! Pew! is not good, not good.
    Shots are exchanged, and Lloyd starts casting a spell.
  5. Page 78: Ossomer goes home.
    The archons dismount Ossomer, dusting him.
  6. Page 79: Slately finds himself twice as good.
    Outraged by Ossomer's death, Slately charges the archons and is seemingly croaked for it. Lloyd finishes casting just in time to create a ditto of the king.
  7. Page 80: Ace Hardware gets himself a girl.
    With fancy flying and clumsy rhymes, Ace manages to capture one of the archons.
  8. Page 81: Maggie's out of juice, Wanda's out of her comfort zone, Parson's out of options, and Stanley is out of f-words.
    Stanley yells at Maggie while Parson, Jack and Wanda are bottlenecked at Spacerock's portal in the Magic Kingdom.
  9. Page 82: I hate it when people stand in front of the door.
    Maggie convinces Stanley to let her help Parson in the Magic Kingdom, while Jojo brings an enforcer in to the mix.
  10. Text Update 56: Phoebe's built like a brick... chimney.
    The archon Phoebe hides from the Jetstone hunt.
  11. Page 83: Slately Spot checks flyers while Isaac spot checks the flier.
    The Jetstone forces finish taking down the unveiled archons. Parson mentions the scroll he got from Jojo, and has Isaac take a look at it.
  12. Page 84: To be fair, his make-up is fabulous.
    Isaac and Parson talk in thinkspace. Tramennis gets healed, and immediately notices Slately's new look.
  13. Page 84a: Hamstard's own slash-fic is onto it's seventeenth chapter.
    Parson klogs about eyebook security and upgrades.
  14. Page 85: Underground, Maggie run run runs to catch up with Isaac and Parson, and ends up running off at the mouth.
    Maggie objects to how the Great Minds have been handling the situation, and lets slip that she knew about the conspiracy.
  15. Page 86: Sylvia tells Archer about Jeftichew's future trading.
    Sylvia proposes burning Spacerock down, and explains with her backstory why she isn't afraid of doing so.
  16. Page 87: Don knows about Slately, the Casters knew about Parson, Parson doesn't know what to do and Maggie doesn't know what to say.
    Don and Bunny reveal that Slately died and not the ditto. Parson is angry about being used (again) and shakes Maggie's confidence in him by revealing that he doesn't actually have a plan.
  17. Page 88: Ace finds out Cubbins is alive, and Slately finds out he isn't.
    Tramennis is caught up on the tactical situation and Slately's plan to use Charlie's bounty to designate him heir. Lilith breaks the news to Slately that he's a ditto.
  18. Page 89: Charlie says the k-word, and it's not king.
    Charlie and Slately discuss the events of the day, and Charlie convinces Slately to use his plan to kill Parson.
  19. Page 90: Everybody wants to act, but only Jeftichew seems to have a plan.
    Isaac, Maggie and Parson continue to argue in thinkspace, while the Predictamancers and the Carnies use the lull to plan their next moves.
  20. Page 91: A clone crowns Tramennis.
    Slately gets the gem from Charlie and designates Tramennis his heir. Once done, he explains Charlies plan to trap Parson in Spacerock.
  21. Page 92: Parson moves at the speed of thought, which turns out to be slower than it takes for Sylvia to decide to burn Jetstone to the ground.
    The rest of the Great Minds show up in thinkspace, and Archer fails to claim the garrison. Sylvia goes ahead with her plan.
  22. Text Update 57: It's the circle of strife~!
    Slately and Tramennis have a heartfelt father-son talk about ruling, Royalty and what awaits them both. Slately returns to the troops to deliver an inspirational speech and reenact a scene from the Lion King.
  23. Page 93: Ace takes a stand and gets to play with his dolls.
    Ace returns with the real body of Slately, and learns of the evacuation plan. He manages to convince Slately to let him stay and fight, in order to save Cubbins.
  24. Page 94: Spoilers abound as a storm of magic gathers around the portal.
    Maggie argues in favor of letting Parson through the portal, while the Carnies try to incite the nearby casters to interfere. Jojo gets a message and comes storming back.
  25. Page 95: Jetstone both charges and retreats as fires spring up and pessimism is unleashed.
    Tramennis and the casters leave for Jetstone (the city) while Slately meets Downer and has the suicide run he's on described bluntly.
  26. Page 96: Sylvia and Jeftichew each fan their respective flames.
    The Jetstone and Gobwin Knob forces clash in the courtyard. Jojo reverses his position and starts arguing in favor of letting Parson pass.
  27. Page 97: Makes me want to roll for traps.
    Jojo actually convinces everyone. After Sylvia's dwagon is dusted out from under her, she chooses to focus on fighting Ace and letting Archer handle Slately.
  28. Page 98: Pretty.
    Ace finds Cubbins and spots Archer. Archer shoots Downer, but is then crushed by a boulder from Ace. Sylvia is content watching Dolls burn.
  29. Page 99: Do you smell smoke?
    Ace sends Cubbins to safety with the jetpack. Parson enters Jetstone, followed by Jack.
  30. Page 99a: Fire rules!
    Parson klogs about how erfworld treats fires and uses Motoroyal as an example.
  31. Page 100: Alas poor Portal! We knew it well!
    Slately makes it to the throne. Parson and Jack discuss what to do about the fire, just as the portal is closed.
  32. Page 101: Spacerock's heating is improved.
    Parson goes on the move. Ace is incapacitated, but manages to direct his Dolls in puncturing a green dwagon and causing it to explode, taking out nearly everything flammable in the courtyard.
  33. Page 102: Ashes to Sylvia, Sylvia to dust.
    Slately mourns over a doll made by Holly. Sylvia enjoys one last victory. Parson and Jack discuss the "kill the other guys" plan and arrive in the throne room.
  34. Page 103: Parson Gotti becomes a man of achievement. The royal gets flushed.
    Parson and Slately face off while their stacks engage. Ace arrives, carried by a battle bear, and fixes Holly's doll.
  35. Page 104: The royals become a Side of achievement. Parson Gotti gets plushed.
    Jack goes to get a dwagon and Parson fights a doll.
  36. Page 105: The Jack blames an LFN for the great weight of his problem.
    Parson manages to rip the doll in half. Jack collapses a balcony, mostly on himself, and croaks.
  37. Page 106: A Dwagon is cruelly robbed of its snack.
    Parson, spurred on by Jack's death, hurls Slately to a dwagon and takes the city.
  38. Page 107: Parson tries to transfer capital, but Stanley refuses on account of bad credit.
    Parson contacts Stanley to convince him to change the capital to Spacerock. In the middle of the argument, Charlie cuts the connection.
  39. Page 108: Parson and Charlie fight a flame war.
    Charlie wants Parson to use the scroll or die trying.
  40. Text Update 58: You want help, Lud?
    Stanley talks with Zhopa and decides to help Parson.
  41. Page 109: Who's the hero now, Hamster?
    Zhopa rushes Stanley to the courtyard and hurls him at the office.
  42. Text Update 59: Parson takes inspiration from Nero.
    Parson plays with his bracer to figure out if he can cast the scroll and gets some funny answers.
  43. Page 110: Sparks fly on both sides of the fire escape.
    Parson is incapacitated just as the portal reopens. The carnies and predictamancers start to fight, but Janis stops it.
  44. Page 111: Wanda is put on hold.
    Sizemore puts out the inferno. Wanda wants to know what to do with the bodies, and Parson has a plan this time.
  45. Page 112: Isaac investigates pyramid power.
    Sizemore builds a bunker around the portal in the Magic Kingdom as everyone in Spacerock collects the bodies.
  46. Page 113: Sizemore's game of Minecraft gets griefed by another Dirtamancer.
    Jojo calls for another enforcement council, and has the bunker torn down.
  47. Page 114: The chapter ends, as the war to end all wars begins.
    Parson reveals his new Magic Kingdom-based battalion, and declares free passage for himself. Privately to Isaac, he also declares his intent to kill Charlie.

Epilogue

Day 1 (75 AW)

Royal Crown Coalition's turn continued
  1. LIAB Epilogue 01 - Artemis Decrypted: Second life.
  2. LIAB Epilogue 02 - Jack Decrypted: The Sister reclamation program yields unexpected benefits.
  3. LIAB Epilogue 03 - Ace on the Move: They're off to see the Casters, the wonderful Casters of Erf.
  4. LIAB Epilogue 04 - Thinkamancers’ Poll: Great Minds do not think alike, fools seldom agree.
  5. LIAB Epilogue 05 - At the Temple: Gobwin Knob goes camping.
  6. LIAB Epilogue 06 - Parson and Maggie Discuss Matters: Parson sorts Maggie out.
  7. LIAB Epilogue 07 - Jack in Black: The Oz references get weirder.
  8. LIAB Epilogue 08 - Parson and Wanda Dissect the Battle: Parson gets a healthy dose of paranoia.
  9. LIAB Epilogue 09 - Parson’s Notes 01: Parson encrypts his notes with handwriting.
  10. LIAB Epilogue 10 - Message to the Tool: Stanley is informed.
Night
  1. LIAB Epilogue 11 - Lilith and Pierce: Pierce volunteers for a show.
  2. LIAB Epilogue 12 - Maggie and the Great Minds: When it comes to groupthink, Maggie talks the talk but doesn't walk the walk.
  3. LIAB Epilogue 13 - Parson and the Temple: Parson prepares to expose himself.
  4. LIAB Epilogue 14 - Parson and the Great Minds 1: Parson has to think for a change.
  5. LIAB Epilogue 15 - Parson and the Great Minds 2: On the importance of furniture hierarchy.
  6. LIAB Epilogue 16 - Parson and Maggie Discuss Thinking Alike: Big Brother is scary.
  7. LIAB Epilogue 17 - Parson’s Staff Meeting: No cooking allowed.
  8. LIAB Epilogue 18 - A Poem About a King: Bunny waxes poetic about the Transylvito situation.
  9. LIAB Epilogue 19 - Caesar and Bill: Caesar drinks... wine, and the Dollamancer tends his pet project.
  10. LIAB Epilogue 20 - Jillian and Ansom: No one's talking to Jill, so she talks to Ansom.
  11. LIAB Epilogue 21 - Vinny: Vinny has the run of the city, but Caesar thinks it should be him.
  12. LIAB Epilogue 22 - The King of Jetstone's Diary: Tramennis knows Jetstone must change to survive. But can he himself change?
  13. LIAB Epilogue 23 - Parson and Sizemore: Sizemore can't get away from Parson.
  14. LIAB Epilogue 24 - Tramennis and Charlie: Tramennis isn't taking anymore of Charlie's crap. Not tonight, anyway.
  15. LIAB Epilogue 25 - Parson and Charlie (Part 1): Charlie doesn't keep regular business hours, and Parson has to deal with it.
  16. LIAB Epilogue 25 - Parson and Charlie (Part 2): Parson pays out another calculation, and we get a peek into Charlescomm.