Charlie

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Charlie
Faction: Charlescomm
Class: Ruler (Overlord)
Special: Arkendish,
Eyebook Username: CharlsNChrg
Eyebook Sound: Ta-da!

Proposed Canon

Charlie is the Ruler of Charlescomm, a Side in Erfworld. Charlie is not Royal, so he is an Overlord. The following is known from the decrypted Archons: Charlescomm is the only city possessed by Charlies side and is level 5; Charlie pops only Archons, of which he had just over 600 at the time of TBfGK; the only other units who are on his side are golems, of which there were about 700 at the time of TBfGK; though he doesn't pop them, Charlie often hire casters from the Magic Kingdom for specific jobs.

Charlie is attuned to a powerful artifact - the Arkendish, one of four known Arkentools.

Charlie has made a magical deal with Parson and has the ability to force Parson to make twelve mathamancy calculations on Parson's Mathamancy Bracer. So far, Charlie has spent some of these on:

  • Two calculations on the strength of Gobwin Knob vs. hypothetical Archon attacks. These calculations were requested immediately after the deal was made.Erf-b1-p103Same-site.PNG
  • One calculation on the odds of Gobwin Knob still standing after at the end of the current turn.Erf-b1-p105Same-site.PNG
  • One calculation on the odds that forfeiting the eight remaining calculations would be a fair exchange for learning why the Archon units lost at Gobwin Knob now fight for Stanley. The calculation (a 4.14% chance of the exchange being worth it) led Charlie to refuse the deal. This calculation backfired: it taught Parson how to use his bracer to perform specific calculations on future events.Erf-b1.5-p039Same-site.PNG

Charlie's Rules

The Archons in Charlie's employ have to follow a set of rules. They are somewhat reminiscent of the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition though, given Rule #3, not quite as extreme. The comparason is loose, at best, and there has been no in comic comparison by Parson yet. The following rules are known:

  • Charlie's Rule #3: We are in the business of solving problems for our clients. Corollary: Creating problems for our clients creates business.
  • Charlie's Rule #15: Some things are more important than money. COROLLARY: Most things are not more important than money.
  • Charlie's Rule #19: Charlie's rules need to be bent sometimes.

Relationships

The Magic Kingdom

Charlie maintains an excellent reputation as an employer in The Magic Kingdom.

Parson Gotti

The two initially seem to like each other, despite being adversarial. It is likely that the two enjoy having an intellectual equal. On Parson's side, Charlie is independent and one of the only characters who always seems to understand what Parson is saying, whether real world references or leetspeak is used. On Charlie's side, although Parson holds duty to Gobwin Knob, he is not bogged down by any of the prejudices Erfworlders generally have and has an out of the box method of thinking that Charlie can appreciate.

That said, however, considering the potential damage that Parson could do to him, having an intellectual equal is a "pleasure" which Charlie would forgo if he could. Charlie has informed Jillian that he's very concerned that his secrets have been compromised. The most damaging of the secrets about Charlie which Parson has learned so far would probably include:

1: One of Charlie's Rules instructs his Archons to make trouble for their own clients, in order to create new employment opportunities.

2: Charlie has no Warlords or Casters (or at least, none that the Archons know about).

3: Charlie never leaves the central tower of his city, which means potential assassins don't need to search the rest of the city to find him.

Fortunately for Charlie, Parson has yet to learn one of Charlie's most dangerous secrets; He is addicted to heroine buds and has been forced to use magical means to survive.

Charlie will certainly wonder how Parson could have survived the volcano. If he discovers that Parson entered the Magic Kingdom, he may suspect that Parson is a caster. Charlie appears to have discovered this by the time he briefs Tramennis in LIAB 43. He does not yet know Parson's discipline, suggesting to Tramennis that Parson is a Mathamancer, but he also confirmed to Parson himself that he can use scrolls.

By the Siege of Spacerock, it is revealed that Charlie is terrified of Parson. As the inventor of the very Summon Perfect Warlord Spell that summoned Parson in the first place, he is one of the few people capable of truly appreciating just how dangerous Parson actually is. There is a prophecy suggesting that Parson is Fated to defeat Charlie, and Charlie is thus determined to get Parson out of Erfworld by any means. Charlie arranges for Jojo to give Parson a scroll so that Parson can leave Erfworld peacefully but is ready to kill Parson if Parson refuses to leave. But as a last resort, he is willing to spend hundreds of millions of schmuckers and even to destroy his relationship with the Magic Kingdom if necessary to capture or croak him.

Charlie, initially, did not work against Parson directly, instead striking against Gobwin Knob's interests via proxies, such as Faq, Haggar, and Jetstone, likely to avoid the cataclysmic damage Parson could unleash if things escalate too much. He eventually reveals himself to Parson at the Siege of Spacerock, taunting him and telling Parson to "GTFO" (use the Dismiss Perfect Warlord scroll Jojo gave him to leave Erfworld) or "DIAF" (die in a fire--specifically, the inferno consuming Spacerock)

After this incident, Parson feels similarly about Charlie and has allied with the Great Minds with the explicit goal of killing him.

That said, however, considering the potential damage that Parson could do to him, having an intellectual equal is probably a "pleasure" which Charlie would forgo if he could. Charlie has informed Jillian that he's very concerned that his secrets have been compromised. The most damaging of the secrets sbout Charlie which Parson has learned so far would probably include:

1: One of Charlie's Rules instructs his Archons to make trouble for their own clients, in order to create new employment opportunities.

2: Charlie has no Warlords or Casters.

3: Charlie never leaves the central tower of his city, which means potential assassins don't need to search the rest of the city to find him..

Queen Jillian

Charlie was Jillian's main competition as a mercenary. She never trusted him, but did talk to him often enough to make taking his calls habitual.

Speculation

The Arkendish gives him unmatched abilities in ThinkamancyErf-b1-p088Same-site.PNG, but the extent of these abilities is not described. It may explain his ability to hack into the supposedly secure Eyebooks.Erf-b1-p100Same-site.PNG It may also explain his undestanding of Parson's Real World leetspeak chat lingo in Eyebook messages, if its power extends to reading surface thoughts at long range, or through the Eyebook which already provides that function, though his largely unknown background from before his possession of the Arkendish might hold that explanation. If the Arkendish can intercept messages sent by other Thinkamancers, it would explain how he learned that Queen Jillian had rebuilt Faq.

Maggie and some other people in Erfworld consider Charlie enigmatic and bizarre.Erf-b1-p088Same-site.PNG Stanley the Plaid has, in Wanda's words, a "strong personal dislike for Charlie."Erf-b1-p043Same-site.PNG

Charlie is not a loyal person as the term is normally used, and is content to play just about all Sides so that he ends up maximizing his Side's gain during a negotiation; however, to protect Charlescomm's reputation, he does not break alliances outright, nor will he abandon an Alliance that has ended a contract. He has been known to make his services prohibitively expensive, in order to avoid the appearance that he is contracting with the Side opposing a previous employer in a conflict. This is inconsistent with normal mercenary behavior, and may help explain the confusion other Erfworlders have concerning his reliability.

Charlie provides his employees with significant freedom in providing their services to clients. Employees are permitted to provide freebies or not, at their own discretion.

Charlie seems to be pretty good at remembering his underlings names, as opposed to Stanley; at least when remembering his archons' names.

After the Battle of Gobwin Knob, most of the members of the Royal Crown Coalition believe he is working with Stanley and refuse to deal with him. However, he has managed to form a tentative alliance with Queen Jillian.

Real World References

Charlie and Charlie's Archons are references to a television series Charlie's Angels featuring 3 young women working as private investigators for their boss, Charlie, whose face is never seen on screen. If this homage continues, we will never see Charlie's face, though we may catch sight of extremities or a silhouette.

His eyebook name is based on the title of the show Charles in Charge.

When Parson first contacts Charlie via ThinkamancyErf-b1-p88Same-site.PNG, the mental picture in Parson's head (red jumpsuit, black background) is a duplicate of the "telepathy" used in the television series Mork & Mindy, when Mork is conversing with his superior, Orson.