Ace Hardware

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LIAB Text 30.jpg
Ace Hardware
Race: Men
Faction: Jetstone
Class: Caster (Dollamancy)
Level: < 7

Proposed Canon

"This is a great day! A great day!"

Strengths: Creativity, Gung-Ho

Weaknesses: Dealing With Disappointment, Persecution Complex

First Appearance: LIAB Text 30

Ace, Lord Hardware, is a Dollamancer in service to Jetstone. He popped in Dhrystone following the loss of Chief Dollamancer Holly Shortcake. He has served under four Chief Warlords, meaning he began under the Chief predating Ansom.

He is tall and brawny, with metal gauntlets that cover his entire arms, a shirt that shows off his abs, boots, and a tall flat-top haircut, and carries a huge multi-bow accessory.

He specializes in accessories (Hardware), and wishes to create action figures. He finds using plush and glass boring, and perhaps emasculating, and finds dolls distasteful, to the point he finds Transylvito's Dollamancer, who specializes in them, a pervert. He has created or modified several magic items, including:

King Slately hated Ace, mostly because he saw Ace as joke and punishment from the Titans for being careless with Holly's life. King Slately and his various Chief Warlords refused to allow Ace to experiment with his preferred talents, only allowing him to use Holly's designs in honor of her legacy.

He became friends with Cubbins, who helped him pursue his creative interests as a sort of hobby, helping him maintain his sanity. The only other person he got along with was Ossomer, the only Chief Warlord of Jetstone to allow him to create accessories.

Along with Pierce and Lloyd, Ace was sent to defend the hex on Jetstone's side of the Expository Bridge.

During the Siege of Spacerock, Gobwin Knob came to seriously threaten the Jetstone side. Longing to see his talents recognized, Ace came up with a plan of escape that revolved around his accessories. Desperate for a plan, any plan, King Slately overheard Ace's discussion and finally started to see Ace's value.

Ace helped Slately croak all of Gobwin Knob's archons, save one he managed to capture with a magic item of his own creation.

In the final stages of the battle, King Slately led a charge against Gobwin Knob. Meanwhile, Ace worried about Cubbins, who had been trapped during a collapse. While the other casters left with Tramennis, Ace desperately begged King Slately to let him help in order to rescue Cubbins. During the battle, he was able to croak and dust nearly all of Gobwin Knob's remaining units, including Captain Archer and Lady Sylvia. He participated in the battle for the throne room and was eventually croaked by Jack's purple dwagon. After the battle was finally over, Gobwin Knob discussed the option of decrypting his corpse.


Ace popped shortly after the loss of Jetstone's previous Dollamancer, Holly Shortcake. Ace states that this must have been because Jetstone was Fated to have a Dollamancer. His talent for creating accessories fits Parson's playing style quite well and he has had a greater level of significance than Jetstone's other casters. These facts make it look quite likely that Ace's coming role in Gobwin Knob was specifically a part of the Titans' great plan.

Real World References

Ace Hardware is a chain hardware store serving the United States. Of course the "hardware" Ace specializes in is more military hardware, or small arms and ordnance, than hammers and drills.

Ace himself resembles an action figure, and his appearance may be a reference to Chip Hazard, the commander of the Commando Elite in the movie Small Soldiers. Ace's name, blond hair and obsession with flight are also references to Ace McCloud, a character in the 1980s American toy tie-in cartoon "The Centurions." Both references emphasize his focus on action figures and combat oriented accessories as an alternative to dolls and plush as possible applications of Dollamancy.

Ace also bears more than a passing resemblance to Jake Busey's character Ace in the film Starship Troopers.