Ace Hardware

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Ace Hardware (Current)
Race: Decrypted (Men)
Faction: Gobwin Knob (formerly Jetstone)
Class: Caster (Dollamancer)
Rank and Titles: Adept
Level: 2[1]
Special: Archery - Specialist, Crossbow Erf-b3-p187Same-site.PNG
LIAB Text 30.jpg

Proposed Canon

"This is a great day! A great day!"

Strengths: Creativity, Gung-Ho

Weaknesses: Dealing With Disappointment, Persecution Complex

First Appearance: LIAB Text 30

Lord Ace Hardware is a level 2 Adept-class Dollamancer in service to Gobwin Knob. He originated in Jetstone, having popped in Dhrystone following the loss of Chief Dollamancer Holly Shortcake. He has served under four Chief Warlords, meaning he began under the Chief predating Ansom.[2]

He is tall and brawny, with metal gauntlets that cover his entire arms, a shirt that shows off his abs, boots, and a tall flat-top haircut, and carries a huge multi-bow accessory.

Ace was made to perform Holly's old Duties as Jetstone's seamstress and maker of plush golems, which he hated. He became friends with Cubbins, who helped him pursue his own creative interests as a sort of hobby, helping him maintain his sanity. The only other person he got along with was Ossomer, the only Chief Warlord of Jetstone to allow him to create accessories.[3]

Along with Pierce and Lloyd, Ace was sent to defend the hex on Jetstone's side of the Expository Bridge.[4]

During the Siege of Spacerock, Ace helped Slately croak all of Gobwin Knob's archons, save one he managed to capture with a magic item of his own creation.[5]

In the final stages of the battle, King Slately led a charge against Gobwin Knob. Meanwhile, Ace worried about Cubbins, who had been trapped during a collapse. While the other casters left with Tramennis, Ace desperately begged King Slately to let him help in order to rescue Cubbins.[6] During the battle, he was able to croak and dust nearly all of Gobwin Knob's remaining units, including Captain Archer and Lady Sylvia.[7] He participated in the battle for the throne room and was eventually croaked by Jack's purple dwagon.[8] After the battle was finally over, Gobwin Knob decrypted him, and Ace took to his new life with enthusiasm.[9]

See also: Quotes: Ace Hardware


He specializes in accessories (Hardware), and wishes to create action figures. He finds using plush and glass boring, and perhaps emasculating, and finds dolls distasteful, to the point he finds Transylvito's Dollamancer, who specializes in them, a pervert. He has created or modified several magic items, including:



Apart from Prince Ossomer, the Hat Magician Cubbins was the only unit at the court of Jetstone who was friendly to the Dollamancer Ace Hardware. Cubbins would spend some of his juice on small object conjuration to produce items that Ace could enhance and enchant to accessories using Dollamancy.

It is implied that the relationship between Cubbins and Ace was romantic.


Ossomer was one of the few people in Jetstone to really get along with Ace.

While the rest of the Jetstone court wanted Ace to keep doing what Holly Shortcake had done before him, Ossomer was the only Chief Warlord to allow him a modicum of freedom in his creations. While Ace was still expected to create Cloth Golems and raiment, Ossomer didn't stop him from also creating accessories like the bracer blaster.

Parson Gotti

Ace Hardware met and fought Parson Gotti of Gobwin Knob in the burning court of Spacerock shortly before he was croaked.

As a newly decrypted unit of Gobwin Knob, Ace seems to be very impressed with Parson, his new Chief Warlord. He finds Parson's large size and his way with words very appealing, and he is eager to improve Parson's twoll-made gear using his powers as a Dollamancer.

In the short span of time since his decryption, Ace already seems to be very loyal to Parson. He desires to protect Parson from the Magic Kingdom's free casters.


Ace Hardware popped shortly after Holly Shortcake, Jetstone's first Dollamancer, croaked.

King Slately hated Ace, mostly because he saw Ace as a joke and punishment from the Titans for being careless with Holly's life. Slately considered him an unworthy successor to Holly, whom he loved, and generally referred to Ace as 'Dollamancer'. King Slately and his various Chief Warlords refused to allow Ace to experiment with his preferred talents, only allowing him to use Holly's designs in honor of her legacy.

During the Siege of Spacerock, Gobwin Knob came to seriously threaten the Jetstone side. Longing to see his talents recognized, Ace came up with a plan of escape that revolved around his accessories. Desperate for a plan, any plan, King Slately overheard Ace's discussion and finally started to see Ace's value. When King Slately's Ditto made his last charge, he allowed Ace to participate against his better judgment to make up for his mistreatment.


Fate's Plans for Ace

Ace popped shortly after the loss of Jetstone's previous Dollamancer, Holly Shortcake. Ace states that this must have been because Jetstone was Fated to have a Dollamancer. His talent for creating accessories fits Parson's playing style quite well and he has had a greater level of significance than Jetstone's other casters. These facts make it look quite likely that Ace's "joining" Gobwin Knob was specifically a part of the Titans' great plan.


Real World References

Ace Hardware is a chain hardware store serving the United States. Of course the "hardware" Ace specializes in is more military hardware, or small arms and ordnance, than hammers and drills.

Ace himself, according to some, resembles Guile, from the Street Fighter video game series. His armored gauntlets have joints and articulation seams similar to G.I. Joe action figures.