Quotes: Stanley the Tool

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Quotes from Stanley the Tool

Book 1: The Battle for Gobwin Knob

OverLord1: need u 2 uncroak him an find smoebody new 2 lead army - TBFGK 2

Sometimes you need to tame a dwagon. Sometimes you just need to bust a nut. - TBFGK 4

That would have been a good time for it to work. - TBFGK 5

Oh fer- Is this about strategy still? - TBFGK 5

The "support plan" is how they get you. - TBFGK 6

I want a guy who snacks on gwiffons and eats Marbits for BREAKFAST! - TBFGK 17

You got me some kind of crazy giant potato man! - TBFGK 18

I already have enough reasons to disband you. I'll ignore one height crack. One. - TBFGK 19

I am a Tool! - TBFGK 20

You know I encourage my people to pursue their hobbies. [Hobbies?] Torture and interrogation. Kid's got some talent, too. - TBFGK 24

Don't even tell me what they're called in "Stupidworld," or wherever you come from. I don't wanna know. - TBFGK 26

Gaahhh!! Worst one yet! - TBFGK 26

I have a wry, sophisticated sense of humor. Can't always be explaining every nuance to you. - TBFGK 27

Uh yeah, Hamster, go ahead and indulge your weird sense of humor. It's got nothing on Wanda's. - TBFGK 29

I'm curious, Hamster... what makes you think we're the "bad guys?" - TBFGK 31

[I thought everyone in the world was coming to kill us.] That alone is a sign of greatness. - TBFGK 32

When everyone is out to get you, you must be doing something right. - TBFGK 32

There is no "Good" or "Evil" side, smart guy. That is a myth. That's propaganda. - TBFGK 32

Ansom and people like him like to put on airs. Nobility. Like they're not ruling by violence and fear. Psheh. - TBFGK 32

The odds don't matter. Strategy doesn't matter. Those are details. That's your job. - TBFGK 33

You don't even know why that matters! - TBFGK 40

Hey what's the turd guy doing in here? - TBFGK 54

She hates me? - TBFGK 66

Well I hate her too. - TBFGK 66

I don't know... I don't know if you betrayed me, of if you only failed me. - TBFGK 72

Then break your link. - TBFGK 72

You'd better not be faking this, son. - TBFGK 75

So what I'm saying is, the Titans have a plan for me. And, y'know... prob'ly for you, too. They're pretty good about crap like that. - TBFGK 77

Yeeeeah. I think we'd better work on fixing you. - TBFGK 89

What... is... the matter with you?! - TBFGK 91

You're really a mess, aren't you? - TBFGK 110

Look. Maybe I'm partly... Look, we can work on straightening you out when we get to Faq. - TBFGK 110

Stand up! You don't have to be afraid! [Yes, Tool!] How do I love it? [I love it... LOUD!] - TBFGK 111

Your lightning's all I need. - TBFGK 111

Ow. Birds. Ow! Quit it! - TBFGK 114

Is that a... walnut? - TBFGK 114

Jack! That's your name! Isn't it? - TBFGK 115

Fear the Stanley! No. Need a new battle cry. - TBFGK 147

Stop! Hammertime. - TBFGK 147

The Titans always have a plan. Okay? But sometimes out part in the plan isn't clear, and we make a wrong turn or two. Here and there. - TBFGK Epilogue 9

Book 2: Love is a Battlefield

Wanda's conquering Erfworld! I'm just... watching. - LIAB Prologue 14

Course it was good. It was Titanic. Rock is the highest music there is. - LIAB Prologue 14

I'm thinking... I might... tell her no. - LIAB 11

Get ready to start pulling lots of their pieces off of it! - LIAB 14

How did they do that! - LIAB 22

[May I give you a suggestion, Lord?] Sure. - LIAB 32

'Nybody want anything from the larder? - LIAB 32

Yes, ham. I love ham. - LIAB Text 26

Well, you forget! I am the Titans' favorite son. The Titans provided! I told King Saline I was going out to tame dwagons, right? Well holy Monsters of Rock, did I! Never seen so many feral dwagons. All the way to Faq I kept finding them in ones and twos, and there were three in this one hex! Only time I ever saw that. - LIAB Text 27

Whoa, haha! Do I eat it, or tame it? - LIAB Text 27

Stanley would never tell him so, but he knew Hamster was good. You never tell your people that. Then they start slacking and you yell at them and they go, "Hey! Back off, man! You said I was good!" And then what can you tell them? Just "shut up" or something. - LIAB Text 44

So what the flaming, flying... flipping... flapping... Zhopa, what's a good curse word that starts with "F?" - LIAB 81

Don't think I wouldn't disband a caster! If I think you're pulling something fishy, I'll do it like that. Don't test me. And, uh... Maggie. Good luck! - LIAB 82

See, ya gotta encourage your people. That's a big part of leadership. - LIAB 82

What in the Titans' turd-stains have you been doing all this time? - LIAB 107

Oh sure! Anything! Lessee, you've spent most of my dwagons, half the army... a caster... and a good chunk of the treasury today. You want me to spend the rest on a big cake or something? We'll start baking that right now. Is red velvet okay? - LIAB 107

Well, no, probly not, knowing him. Lord Genius. You put him in a... in an impossible situation and he just goes, 'Hurrdeedurr, I break the rules, tada! I win!' - LIAB Text 58

Yeah, I like him, too. - LIAB Text 58

I mean, he's a huge pain in the butt. But he's my pain. In my butt! I paid 350,000 Shmuckers to have this pain! - LIAB Text 58

Eeeeeeeeeee!! - LIAB 109

Yeah! Get outa the way! I'm doin' something! - LIAB 109

Who's the hero now, Hamster? - LIAB 109

Oh, cool. Yeah, I hate that guy. - LIAB Epilogue 10

Book 3: Hamsterdance vs. the Charlie Foxtrot

I got! Bad! Mannerrrs! I got a Hammerrrr! I got some dancerrrs! I got a Ham-STER-RRRRrrrr! - Hvs.tCF 6

I done some BAD! I done some GOOD! I did a whole lot better than they thought I WOULD! I am loved, I am hated, I'm misunderSTOOD! But Queenie, you just came to the wrong neighborHOO-HOO-HOOD! - Hvs.tCF 6

So we're supposed to be at war with Charlescomm now. Or maybe that's a secret, I dunno. Hamster's nuts. - Hvs.tCF 8

Thanks, Lord Hamster!! - Hvs.tCF 8

Rock out! Rock owwwwwwt! Rock out with your shock out! You! And you! And yöööööu! - Hvs.tCF 15

You know what? This battle is no longer cool! - Hvs.tCF 19

Look, he's literally stabbing you in the back right now. - Hvs.tCF 20

I think maybe they just want him to hit you. - Hvs.tCF 22

Let. Go. Of. My. Dwagon. You. Giant. Couch! - Hvs.tCF 25

OverLord1: Im always cool!!! - Hvs.tCF 29

I don't give a crap about that! Wanda's been mad at me since the turn we met. - Hvs.tCF 35

Okay, yeah. That's my style. - Hvs.tCF 36

Everything can be! That's no trick. I'm being right now! - Hvs.tCF 54

So was this a dumb thing? Were you dumb, Hamster? - Hvs.tCF 54

Hah! I knew it. Big dumb genius. - Hvs.tCF 54

That is a weird recipe for happiness. - Hvs.tCF 58

And you need a name, so I can yell at you. - Hvs.tCF 58

Magic Words

Van... de Graaff! - TBFGK 113

Mazel tov! - LIAB 109