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LIAB 12.jpg
King Slately
Race: Men
Tribe: Jetstone
Faction: Jetstone
Class: Ruler (King)
Special: Royal, Leadership


First Appearance: LIAB 12

For choice and memorable utterances, see Quotes: Slately.

King Slately was the Ruler of Jetstone faction. He was a king for over three thousand turns.Erf-b2-pT33Same-site.PNG His father was Headboard, King of Jetstone.Erf-b2-pT57Same-site.PNG

He popped twenty-three sons and daughters.Erf-b2-pT33Same-site.PNG Among them Victor (his first son), Lustrius (his third son, probably an Heir who Slately thought was destined to be king), Titas, Forthewin, Wonderloaf, Ansom, Ossomer, and Tramennis (specifically not popped as an Heir).

A Double of King Slately was created through Dittomancy prior to the (confirmed) croaking of King Slately Erf-b2-p87Same-site.PNG. his double would have persisted until the start of the next turn.Erf-b2-p89Same-site.PNG This was known because if the double had been croaked, no corpse would remain, however a known corpse does exist. The second Slately was the last Jetstone Unit to croak in Spacerock's Garrison.

Proposed Canon

"She took another of my sons."

Strengths: Leadership, Organization, Stoicism

Weaknesses: Tact, Humility, Empathy

Slately claimed that the magic of signamancy has changed his appearance over time, turning him short and fat to reflect his sedentary lifestyle.Erf-b2-pT33Same-site.PNG During his 3000 turns of kingship he had only seen a battle once and that from a heavily guarded turret. Again, signamancy is meant to reflect the character or personality of a unit as well as its rank. The decrypted Ossomer noted that the resolved, angered look Slately bore while preparing his plan of killing as many decrypted Archons as possible to earn enough Shmuckers (as a reward from Charlie) to make Tramennis his heir was signamancy: the little man finally seems to be royal.Erf-b2-pT47Same-site.PNG For the purpose of his plan, the Dollamancer Ace and the Hat Magician Cubbins have turned the king's costume into powerful Magic Items: His crown was made into a foolamancy-proof thinking cap, the Jetstone royal scepter can shoot Shockamancy and his cloak could deflect one bolt.Erf-b2-p72Same-site.PNG

Slately appeared to have had a close relationship the previous Jetstone Dollamancer, Holly Shortcake. When musing on what could be his imminent croaking, his mind turns to the possibility of meeting her again in the hereafter, and more specifically, "Could it be his final reward to know love again?"Erf-b2-pT42Same-site.PNG Further evidence is his keeping in the throne room a Doll she had created for "sentimental reasons."Erf-b2-p92Same-site.PNG

Additionally: "He truly disliked this Caster, this...joke or punishment of the Titans. Once he had been careless with the life of someone he loved, and so the Titans gave him this jar-headed jackass to "replace" her."Erf-b2-pT48Same-site.PNG


Ace Hardware

Ace Hardware popped shortly after Holly Shortcake, Jetstone's first Dollamancer, croaked.

King Slately hated Ace, mostly because he saw Ace as a joke and punishment from the Titans for being careless with Holly's life. Slately considered him an unworthy successor to Holly, whom he loved, and generally referred to Ace as 'Dollamancer'. King Slately and his various Chief Warlords refused to allow Ace to experiment with his preferred talents, only allowing him to use Holly's designs in honor of her legacy.

During the Siege of Spacerock, Gobwin Knob came to seriously threaten the Jetstone side. Longing to see his talents recognized, Ace came up with a plan of escape that revolved around his accessories. Desperate for a plan, any plan, King Slately overheard Ace's discussion and finally started to see Ace's value. When King Slately's Ditto made his last charge, he allowed Ace to participate against his better judgment to make up for his mistreatment.

Don King

Don and Slately were old friends.

Slately, being a staunchly conservative Royalist, never really approved of Don's casual demeanor or his merit-based method of ruling, but still considered him more than just an ally.

When trying to get the funds necessary to designate Tramennis as Heir, Slately turned to Don for help. Not just as the first person he'd go to for aid, but the only one.

After seeing Slately croaked and being denied the shmuckers to help him, Don was devastated. Once out of the sight of his court, Don wept and raged over his grief over losing and being unable to help his friend.


Ossomer was Slately's youngest son, and as a shining example of what a Jetstone Royal was expected to be, favored by his father.

It upset Slately greatly to see Ossomer Decrypted and on the side of Gobwin Knob, which when coupled with Ossomer's already conflicted feelings about his new Side and their tactics, helped him to turn back, something completely unknown for a Decrypted to do before.

Slately and Ossomer bonded one last time fighting Gobwin Knob's Archons, before Ossomer was dusted.


Tramennis was the sixteenth son of Slately.

Their relationship started roughly, with Slately taking one look at Tramennis' signamancy and immediately sending him to a distant campaign, not caring if Tramennis came back or not.

Afterwards, Slately still had mixed feelings for his son. He appreciated Tramennis' diplomatic skills, but still felt that he didn't fit the Jetstone mold. It took the fall of Spacerock and his own croaking for Slately to embrace his son.

While Tramennis may not have always agreed with his father, he did love him. A word of encouragement would make him beam, and the news that he had croaked and Slately's duplicate would be gone in a Turn devastated him.


After the defeat at Gobwin Knob, King Slately approached some sides, including Haggar, and tried to persuade them to join the second Royal Crown Coalition. He may have approached Jitterati and Carport, but if so, his efforts failed.

Since his first references and early appearances, Slately has begun to show serious character depth and even development. He seems struck by the loss of his sons and to actually care for them. He originally disapproved of Tramennis because of his signamancy but has since revised his opinion. Finally he approached Don King to request a loan to appoint Tramennis as heir. He admitted his failings and his own lack of the royal ideals that he constantly blustered about and craved a chance to finally honor his sons and their sacrifice. He hopes to save his son Tramennis and perhaps die leaving him the kingdom.

Real World References

The name of the faction, Jetstone, seems to be a portmanteau of the names of the Hanna-Barbera cartoons The Jetsons and The Flintstones. King Slately's name is an amalgamation of the names of the bosses on the two shows, Mr. Spacely (Jetsons) and Mr. Slate (Flintstones).

King Slately's appearance is based on the King of Hearts and King of Diamonds from a playing card deck. Slately's coloring and design are closer to the traditional King of Hearts, but his mustache only appears on the King of Diamonds.

During the Siege of Spacerock, Prince Tramennis says that Slately must be evacuated. His response is a quote from Grand Moff Tarkin in Star Wars: A New Hope... "Evacuate? In our moment of triumph? I think you overestimate their chances."

His new outfit, made of powerful magic items, makes him look like the Martian Ambassador from the film "Mars Attacks," and his warpaint makes his face and beard appear similar to the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Preceded by:
Ruler of Jetstone Succeeded by: