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King Scrofula
Race: Men
Faction: Squashcourt
Class: Ruler
Rank and Titles: King
Special: Royal, Leadership

Proposed Canon

“Take the evening to consider the offer, won’t you?”

Strengths: Jolly, Asking For Help, Taking a Beating

Weaknesses: Full of Bad Ideas, Unable to Take a Joke, Pride, Farts

First Appearance: WB2014 Lord Crush - Part 1

King Scrofula is the ruler of the side of Squashcourt. He has popped two heirs: Prince Racket and Prince Axe Bodyspray. He is one of the signers of the So-be-it Union.


He is very proud, stubborn, and more than a little stupid. He frequently had to be forcefully shouted down by his son Racket, who was the only one able to talk him down from his bad plans. He may be gullible as well, considering Lord Maglite, who had gone to war with him twice, was able to persuade him to betray his allies and join him in an attempt to conquer the Union.


Prince Racket

King Scrofula very much loved his son and depended on him for deeply for Racket's intelligence when planning. However, Racket would loudly and forcefully disagree with his father whenever he had a bad idea. When Scrofula was swayed and thought of Maglite as a friend and considered betraying the Union, Racket would have been completely opposed. In fact, Dunkin McClown suspected that rather than dying in combat Scrofula may have Disbanded him to move unopposed.

Prince Axe Bodyspray

Scrofula doesn't appear to have thought much of his younger son, belittling him at a banquet. He even thought him dumb, being unable to carry out the war against the union, and so calling for Lord Crush. However, he did want to keep him as an heir rather than designate Crush, so he may have held some filial loyalty. After Axe beat him to a bloody pulp to make him change his mind, he was apparently cowed long after the initial beating into staying true to the Union.

Axe's relationship to his father King Scrofula originally seems to have been one of passively obeying the whims of his father, begrudgingly allowing himself to be renamed "Chief Salad" and wearing one on his noggin for an evening. Naturally inclined to being quiet and stoic, and being less valued by Scrofula as an intellectual equal and sounding board, he doesn't seem to have party to the King's decision to ally with Bullyclub. After finding Lord Crush's plan and becoming convinced it was a good one, he physically assaulted the king to within an inch of his life in order to "convince" him of the folly of his plan. After surviving that beatdown, Axe has been able to curb King Scrofula's poor decision making-- possibly through more threats of physical violence along with logical arguments.

Dunkin McClown

The king's relationship with his fool was contentious and venomous. He tolerated the jester's abuse and suffered him to live because of Scripture. Bizarrely, the king carried out a facade of nonchalance and even played with the jester during banquets. Dunkin's insults and jeers apparently hit very close to home, to the point that when given a chance to disband him he took it with no small pleasure, ordering a feast afterwards.

Lord Crush

Lord Crush respected King Scrofula, thinking him a very merry king who trusted him a great deal. He sent the king a letter of condolence when Racket died. Scrofula took it to heart, rereading it many times. Combined with Racket's good opinion of Crush, his tactical prowess and Scrofula's lack of faith in Axe's, Scrofula decided to try and convince Crush to turn to Squashcourt and help fight the Union. Crush's sympathy for the king quickly vanished when he was asked to betray the union. He came to see the king as stupid and his plan as evil. He tried to convince the king to stop his plan, and despite initial refusal the king continued to hold him in high esteem. Crush was treated with deference and "jailed" in the library, Scrofula would try repeatedly to sway him with offers of leniency for him and his mother Queen Post to no avail. The royal esteem quickly ran out in the face of Crush's and Dunkin's "betrayal", to the point he was sent to the worst prison cell.

Lord Maglite

At some point these two enemies started talking, and Scrofula grew to consider Lord Maglite a friend. This trust was such that he didn't think Maglite might betray him, or he quelled the fear out of pride at making a mistake in judging his character. It's interesting that even after the Union crushed Bullyclub, he advocated for Maglite successfully enough to allow him entry into the Union. Whether out of continued friendship or forgiveness is hard to say.

Preceded by:
Ruler of Squashcourt Succeeded by:
None, incumbent

Real World References

Scrofula is a desease that is also known as King's evil.