Summon Perfect Warlord Spell

From Erfwiki
(Redirected from Perfect warlord)
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Proposed Canon

The Summon Perfect Warlord Spell is what summoned Judy Gale and Parson Gotti to Erfworld. It was originally invented by Charlie. Using unknown means, this spell has been cast by a combination of a Predictamancy, Thinkamancy, Lookamancy, and Findamancy. It grants the target warlord status. It can be dispelled by Dismiss Perfect Warlord.

In Judy Gale's case, the spell was cast by Haffaton's Thinkamancer (probably Maxwell) and Predictamancer (probably Maya Calendar), as well as El-Efbaum's Lookamancer and Findamancer in order to defeat the sides known as Easteros and Westeregg.IPTSF Text 66

In Parson's case, the scroll was created by Thinkamancer Tisha, Lookamancer Hubble, a Predictamancer (probably Marie Lavraie) and an unknown Findamancer. The original Spell package, including both spell and casting, cost 500,000 shmuckers.TBFGK 5 Stanley, finding that the spell alone would cost 350,000 shmuckers, decided to disregard the support plan consisting of a Findamancer casting worth 150,000 shmuckers; he instead ordered Wanda Firebaugh to cast the spell.Erf-b1-p013Same-site.PNG It was cast by Wanda Firebaugh with interference by Stanley the PlaidErf-b1-p017Same-site.PNG.

It has been later revealed that the spell that summoned Parson was part of the Hippiemancers' and Predictamancers' plot to end the perpetual state of war on Erf and the Thinkamancer's plot to deal with Charlie.LIAB Text 37


The spell's results were more than unusual. After pulling Parson, the spell created a number of magical items on the following days to equip him and transform him into the true Perfect Warlord:

  • A pair of 3D Glasses that gives him the Erfworlder's natural ability to see other units' stats, plus the ability (which Erfworlder's lack) to see their names;
  • A strange bracer that attaches to his calculator watch, allowing computation of combat probabilities;
  • And finally, a three-piece sword, with the enchantments of "Leadership", "Combat ability" and "Ruthlessness".

Judy Gale carried a set of magic items as well, which were likely a result of the same effect, including:

Judy also had an anklet that resembles electronic curfew anklets used on Stupidworld to keep track of persons on probation. The source of this anklet is unclear--it might be Olive's doing, part of the Summon Perfect Warlord Spell used to control the summoned warlord, or something else entirely.

Parson suspects that the magic items that come with the spell are bound to their associated Perfect Warlord by Fate, and that should they somehow be lost, Fate will arrange for their return.


The majority of qualities that Stanley demanded for his Perfect Warlord may have been received:

  • Big - Parson is large compared to "normal sized" ErfWorlders. This is perhaps due to Erfworld natural Signamancy reflecting his true nature in his appearance (much like royalty, et al, except instead of majestic looking as a royal, he's big as in powerful.)
  • Powerful - Due to his size, Parson is capable of carrying much larger and heavier things than native men. This might also have been added through the "Combat" in the sword, which has been destroyed.
  • Dashing - Energetic/spirited; Parson gets like that when he's winning.
  • Handsome - Wanda may have an odd sense of what is good-looking, or bypasses the "dashing" and "handsome" requirements when Stanley asks to "just make him big".
  • Heroic - May have been added through the "Ruthlessness" quality of the sword. He is willing to risk his own presence on the battlefield at the most vital junctures at the end where he was needed. He stands up to Erfworld itself at the end of the Battle for Gobwin Knob, declaring his opposition to what just occurred. He still has the tendency to put himself on the battlefield (not going to put others where he won't go), so this may be an innate trait.
  • Inspiring - May have been added via the "Leadership" quality of his sword. Even without it, his behavior eventually inspires awe in his subordinates, especially Wanda, Jack, and Ace.
  • Perfect military mind - Enhanced by the Mathamancy Bracer, if not already present.
  • Strategic genius - Erfworlders are traditionalists. Parson's novel strategies tend to succeed against native Erfworld warlords due to his knowledge of (and enthusiasm for) less traditional warfare.
  • Strategic genius and/or Natural Signamancer - Erfworlders are traditionalists. Parson sees the world in a way they never will due to how he views the world as a warlord and a natural signamancer.
    See Parson being a Signamancer.
  • Obsessed with war - Considers the military uses of everything he sees.
  • Plans wars and kills his foes for fun - Parson was introduced as a long-time tabletop wargame player, an entertainment activity (for fun) in which you plan wars and kill foes.
  • Eats marbits and gwiffons - Marbits are marshmallow bits in breakfast cereal. Gwiffons are shaped like peeps.Erf-b1-p017Same-site.PNG. Directly before being summoned, Parson was seen eating peeps and commenting on the ideal staleness for marbits.
  • Everything should seem familiar and safe to him. No crazy surprises - There are many references to the culture of Earth (particularly American and/or geek culture, which Parson would be most familiar with) embedded in the phenomena of Erfworld.
  • Wants to be summoned - Just before being summoned, Parson said he'd gladly escape into a game world, seeing it as an improvement over his boring everyday life.

Looks like they got what they paid for.

It is possible that the spell itself is made of a tri-link of a Thinkamancer with a Predictamancer and a Lookamancer. The Findamancy may only come into play during the actual casting of the spell and the Predicamancy and Lookamancy only provide the means and criteria that the Findamancer needs to perform the spell. The Thinkamancy may also play a role in "scanning" for the right type of mind that the spell is looking for, but it almost certainly casts a loyalty spell on the subject to bind him or her to the caster's ruler. This would be necessary as summoning a perfect warlord as a barbarian would negate the point and put the caster at risk of an attack or a conquer attempt.

The other possibility is that spell is somehow made in stages and, thus, isn't a true meshing of the four disciplines. Nevertheless, the power and complexity of the spell is undeniable.

Real World References

The spell caused the casting chamber to resemble that of the Master Program from Tron.

The fact that the casting that summoned Judy Gale killed Bell as an immediate effect of the spell is a reference to how in The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, the wicked witch of the East is crushed by Dorothy's house. This connection is further implied by the fact that the part of Dorothy Gale was played by Judy Garland in the 1939 motion picture version of The Wizard of Oz.