Gobwin Knob (city)

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I'm Coming For You Stanley
Capital City
Side: Faq (formerly Gobwin Knob)
Level: 5
Regent Warlord: Currently none, formerly Georgia Power, formerly Lord Hamster
'The City of Gobwin Knob'
Stanley flying over the main gates
I'm Coming For You Stanley with upgraded Tower

Gobwin Knob could refer to something else. See Gobwin Knob (disambiguation)

Proposed Canon

The city of I'm Coming For You Stanley is the capital of the side of Faq and is a level 5 city. It was formerly known as Gobwin Knob.

Gobwin Knob was the former capital city of Gobwin Knob, the side by the same name. It was ruled by Overlord Stanley the Tool. The city was the location of the first and second battles of Gobwin Knob.

The Level 5 city of Gobwin Knob was infamous as the most strongly fortified position on Erfworld and the capital city of the eponymous side and home to King Saline IV and Stanley the Plaid of the Plaid Tribe. The city was built around the sky-scraping Tower of Efdup within the caldera of an extinct volcano, beneath which stretched a labyrinth of tunnels and mines that were thought mined out.

As of the Siege of Spacerock, Gobwin Knob is no longer the capital city of the eponymous Side, although this was intended to be a temporary measure.

On turn 96 AW, during the Second Battle for Gobwin Knob, Jillian captured the city and renamed it to "I'm Coming For You Stanley". It became her capital the same turn, shortly after the Faq-Transylvito war broke out.

Later that turn I'm Coming For You Stanley's tower was awoken to sentience in a manner similair to Jed by the Big Think.


The Capital was originally constructed within the caldera of a dormant volcano (the "Gobwin Knob"). This position gave the city excellent natural defenses that, at level 5, made it a formidable defensive prospect. They also enjoyed a period of great wealth as the mountain had many precious gems within it.

Relative to most of the world, its location is unclear. However, the City of Faq is located to the west of I'm Coming For You Stanley, while Transylvito in the South West, is as few as a half day or as many as three days by dwagon away, so it is anywhere from 28 to 165 hexesErf-b1-p46aSame-site.PNG away. (See Discussion for how this number was calculated.)

Warchalking is somewhere near to the east.

The city is roughly 200 hexes from the City of Unaroyal, somewhere to the east, with Jetstone beyond.


The city was the site of the Gobwin Insurrection, the first Battle for Gobwin Knob, the Second Battle for Gobwin Knob and the battle of I'm Coming for you Stanley.

Battle for Gobwin Knob

'The City of Gobwin Knob prior to the Volcano Uncroaking Page 121.'

Main Article: Battle for Gobwin Knob

During the Battle, the Tower, Tunnels, and Garrison (except for the Dungeon) were collapsed, reducing the City to Level 1. This action was insufficient to stop the Royal Crown Coalition, leaving some 3000 troops active, so the Casters caused the volcano to reawaken and erupt, destroying all of the invading forces, but leaving a few uncroaked and golem troops that held Stanley's claim to the city after the Casters had evacuated. Perhaps more significantly, no living unit from any other side remained.

Dirtamancer Sizemore Rockwell discovered that more veins of gems lay deep in the volcano and controlled the eruption so as to force several rich veins to the surface, providing the city with one of the highest known incomes in the world. The city as a whole was nearly destroyed as a result of the battle, Sizemore's collapsing of the structures, and the subsequent explosion; however, it remained a viable Level 1 city, continuing to produce Units in the aftermath of the battle. Gobwin Knob was rebuilt to level 5 the day after the battle by order of Stanley the Tool.


During the Battle for Gobwin Knob, the city of Gobwin Knob was formed of four City Zones:

  • Outer Walls -- These walls, along with the natural defense of the caldera, provided Gobwin Knob with its main protection. Unusually, they had no gate of any kind, which made them stronger and left no weak point in the walls.
  • Tunnels -- This series of tunnels was something of a weak point, dug mostly for mining purposes and not with defense in mind, it allowed a strong force of tunnellers to present a serious problem. It was only through hit-and-run tactics, traps, misdirection, heavy application of force, and intentional collapses that they were successfully defended. At the end of the battle, they were collapsed wholesale.
  • Airspace -- The zone that is the same for every city, except for what can defend it. Gobwin Knob had plenty of dwagons, but they were all away during the final battle. The defenders had a small uncroaked air force and some significant magic air defenses.
  • Garrison -- The fall-back point of the defense, it was dominated by the Tower of Efdup.

Gobwin Knob presented an excellent example of how attacking through zones works:

  • Outer Walls -- Needed to be breached by Siege Units to be passable by ground Units.
  • Tunnels -- Could only be entered by light or tunnel-capable Units.
  • Airspace -- Could only be entered by flying Units.
  • Garrison:
  • Tower -- Could only be attacked from Airspace or another Garrison Zone.
  • Dungeon -- Could only be attacked from Tunnels or another Garrison Zone.
  • Courtyard -- Could only be attacked from Outer Walls or another Garrison Zone.

Note that for all cities, defenders treat the entire city as a single hex, and so do not expend Move and may redeploy at will. (This may be limited to Units assigned to the Garrison.)

After the Battle

After the demolition and rebuilding of the city, the layout, along with materials, design, and decoration, changed significantly, while keeping the same basic elements.

  • Outer Walls -- Now shorter but thicker, the square walls extend around three sides of the city, then curve around the lava lake on the fourth. They feature toothed edges and densely-packed blockhoused, creating a fractal appearance.
    • Gate -- the new main gate is prominent and ridiculously well-defended, with two towers nearly the size of the new Tower of Efdup.
    • Lava Lake -- Technically inside the Outer Walls, only flying units may cross the lake, but they may not land. it takes up nearly a half of the city area, but is separated from the Garrison and the rest of the city by a cliff and a low wall.
  • Airspace -- Unchanged
  • Tunnels -- Smaller than before, and now disconnected from the outside. Cannot be used to invade the City without tunneling first.
  • Garrison -- The new garrison is a square structure, some seven stories tall, featuring a tower on each corner. Technically in the center of the new city, the garrison is opposite the side wall, next to the ledge overlooking the lava lake. There is a large paved area and gate facing the city's main gate. The tower is on the opposite side.
  • Tower -- Square and fluted, shaped like Big Ben with a pagoda on top that houses the Archons.
  • Dungeon -- Was not destroyed in the battle; presumably the same.
  • Courtyard -- Changes Unknown.

Presumably, all the zones interact in the same way, with the lava lake zone allowing flying units access to the Airspace zone, and possibly the Outer Walls zone.


A speculative map of the city of Gobwin Knob with Parson's street names overlaid (modified by MisterB777 based on the original work by Xin Ye)

The City itself lies between the Garrison and the Outer Walls. Lord Hamster named the streets of the rebuilt city: East-West streets are named after "The Simpsons" characters and North-South streets are named after earth foods that he misses.

Known streets include:

  • Smithers (intersects with Whopper Avenue)
  • Burns Street (intersects with Whopper Avenue; there is a bank in this street)
  • Homer (intersects with Donut in D'oh Plaza)
  • Maggie Street
  • Whopper Avenue (intersects with Smithers and Burns Street)
  • Donut (intersects with Homer in D'oh Plaza)
  • D'oh Plaza (intersection of Homer and Donut)

Unit Production

The city of I'm coming for you Stanley can pop the following Units:

At Level One:

At Level Two:

At Level Three:

Significant Residents

Former Significant Residents


Gobwin Knob's original gateless walls may have had some connection to the units it popped. The Spidews could exit via the tunnels, and the Dwagons could leave via airspace, while the Twolls remained as Garrison units.

It is known that Twolls have been outside of cities, and so not all Twolls are garrison units; it is possible that because they had no means of egress from the city, they defaulted to being Garrison units, and all the new Twolls are not, since they can now leave via the gate.

Alternatively, it is possible that when Gobwin Knob raised in Levels originally, the design was built around the capabilities of the units available - if Twolls were not needed as a field force, (with Hobgobwins and Spidew Cavalry available instead), then perhaps a gate was deemed an unnecessary weakness and eliminated when the city was raised to Level Five.

At any rate, all cities built by Gobwin Knob produce the same five types of units and so there is no effect on production due to city construction.

Real World References

Gobwin Knob is a reference to the slang term 'knob goblin', which has various obscene definitions. (Which leads Parson to laugh when he first hears the name.) The decor of the city after the volcano owes something to Socialist realismLIAB Prologue 4.

See Also