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WB2014 Lord Crush - Part 5.jpg

Proposed Canon

Firstpost is a Side ruled by Queen Post and one of the founding sides of the So-be-it Union, being the host to the Union conference. It has existed at least sixteen hundred turns, the time before that being spent in a state of near constant conflict with its neighbors Squashcourt, Tapwater, and Protip. It is mentioned in WB2014_Lord_Crush_-_Part_1.

Marbits are natural allies of Firstpost.


It is a Royal Capital Side, producing human Units, including Nobles and Royals.


The Capital of Firstpost is unnamed, but presumed to be a level 5. It's unlikely to have ever lost control of it or changed its location.





Main article: Erfworld Geography

Firstpost has no coastline, nor mountains. It's geographically hemmed in by a crowd of small sides, collectively comprising eight or nine little city sites among lakes and farms and grassy plains.

Firstpost shares a border with Squashcourt to the southeast. It also borders Tapwater and Protip. It is near but not bordering Bullyclub, somewhere to it's south.



Before the Union

Firstpost warred with its neighbors Squashcourt, Tapwater and Protip over control of eight or nine small city sites. It kept to a strategy of holding two level five cities close together and letting the other cities be shuffled around in the various conflicts -- "traded and raided, razed and rebuilt—in an endless game of deals and dust-ups."WB2014 Lord Crush - Part 1

Union Conference

Sixteen hundred turns ago the four sides came together in a conference to try and hash out an Alliance to reduce conflict and allow them to prosper. The conference was highly contentious and full of outbursts from the delegates. After a dozen turns they established the So-be-it Union, limiting the size of each side's army and binding them into mutual defense. It included provisions for the betrayal of a side. Thanks to the treaty Firstpost (and the union as a whole) have had a long time of prosperity.

Bullyclub would twice interrupt the peace brought by the So-Be-It Union by warring with it. Both wars were unprofitable for all involved and ended in armistices.

Betrayal by Squashcourt

During a trade negotiation, King Scrofula took Lord Crush prisoner and attempted to turn him to Squashcourt. This was part of a plan to betray the Union and ally with Bullyclub, hoping Crush could negotiate with Queen Post for the neutrality of Firstpost to better conquer Tapwater and Protip. Lord Crush managed to convince prince Axe Bodyspray, and through him King Scrofula, to double cross Bullyclub and ambush their forces in their territory while Firstpost infiltrated and attacked Bullyclub cities bordering Squashcourt.

After the War

Since Lord Crush's plan required Firstpost to leave the union, Queen Post negotiated the restoration of the Union with Tapwater (reluctant) and Protip (receptive). Even including Squashcourt once again. King Scrofula lobbied on behalf of Lord Maglite and Bullyclub was shown mercy, even being admitted into the Union. After the war, there was a period of peace lasting long enough for Lord Crush to write and publish a book.


Firstpost's colors are umber and yellow.


The third war with Bullyclub happened some time after the destruction of Faq. This is considering King Banhammer's book has been published and that Jillian is wearing polished silver armor rather than the Samurai-like Faq armor.

Real World References

The name Firstpost may be a reference to the habit in some internet forums for members to be enthusiastic to be the "first to post" a reply in a thread. It may also be a reference to the importance people put on the first post of a blog or other social media.