Book 1/Page 20/Transcript

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Stanley the Plaid: Just tell me this.

Suppose you had to defend a single city on a mountain against an army that outnumbers you ten to one.

Wanda Firebaugh: Or twenty-five to one.

Stanley the Plaid: Shut up, Wanda.

Stanley the Plaid: What would you do?

Parson Gotti: Any number of things.

Depending on any number of other things.

Stanley the Plaid: Oh come on, quit hedging.

Parson Gotti: I can't be specific.

Asymmetric warfare depends a lot on overlooked details.

Stanley the Plaid: Oh.

Does it?

Parson Gotti: It's something I've studied a lot, lately.

It might be winnable, or survivable, if I knew the details.

Wanda Firebaugh: Lord.

Parson Gotti: ...What?

Wanda Firebaugh: Say "Lord." Or "Overlord." or "Master."

Or another suitably respectful term, when addressing your master.

Parson Gotti: Oh.

Well, where I'm from, the highest term of respect is... "tool."

Stanley the Plaid: What?!

Stanley the Plaid: Is it?!

That's fantastic!

Wanda Firebaugh: Lord?

Stanley the Plaid: Don't you see? "Tool!" ...Like the Arkentools!

I've been on a quest for the tools of the Titans, all this time.

Wanda Firebaugh: Yeeeess...

Stanley the Plaid: Well, really, that makes me a tool of the Titans as well.

Stanley the Plaid: I have a higher calling!

I am a Tool![1]

Wanda Firebaugh: I see, Lord.

Stanley the Tool: Not Lord.

Tool. From now on, everyone addresses me as "Tool!"

Wanda Firebaugh: Yes, Tool.

Parson Gotti: I have no problem with that, Tool.

Stanley the Tool: A new era begins now. Stanley the Plaid is dead!

Here begins the holy reign of Stanley the Tool!

Stanley the Tool: Long live me!

Parson Gotti: Hey... Did you really mean the 25 to 1, though?

Wanda Firebaugh: You'll only say that word again.