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[[Image:Would you boop me? I'd boop me. I'd boop me hard. I'd boop me so hard.]]
Race: Men
Faction: Charlescomm (formerly Transylvito)
Class: Caster (Dollamancer)
Rank and Titles: Count, Adept
Level: 5

Proposed Canon

"Every time I try to explain myself, I only make things worse."

Strengths: Self-motivated, juice-conscious, proud of his work, "creative"

Weaknesses: Communicating, being freaky, "creative"

First Appearance: LIAB Epilogue 19

Bill is a Dollamancer, recently turned to Charlescomm (formerly of Transylvito). He is Adept class and is level 5,Erf-b3-p154Same-site.PNG with a title of Count.Erf-b3-p164Same-site.PNG He wears "greensight goggles", which may be a magic item, and an apron.

Bill considers his true calling the construction of "real Dolls," exploring the intersection of Thinkamancy and Dollamancy using the Life Axis. Through association with Bunny, he acquired enough skill in Thinkamancy to steal a G-string (or possibly implant an H-string) from a unit and bind it to a doll, to an extent that touching the doll causes the unit to feel the same sensations.

While a Transylvitian unit, Bill was responsible for construction of the side's forces of Molls, Dolls, and Scarecrows. He devoted all his spare juice at the end of turn to "personal projects," including the construction of a massive deformed golem made up of arms, legs, faces, and "lots and lots of breasts". Erf-b2-pE19Same-site.PNG

Despite his skills, Bill is not well-regarded by units inside or out of Transylvito. Don King viewed him as "a man of questionable tastes and proclivities" Erf-b3-p160Same-site.PNG and Bill himself admits that he was not in the king's favor. Erf-b3-p148Same-site.PNG Ace Hardware dismissed him as a "pervert" Erf-b2-pT30Same-site.PNG and Queen Bea described him as "one of those commander units who had something terribly wrong with him." Erf-b3-p160Same-site.PNG

Even Bill acknowledges his own faults:

But he guessed the Titans could teach him, too. [...] If not, then maybe they'd at least fix his own Thinkamancy string before they put him back in the box. That was probably broken. He wasn't very good work. Caesar the Not-king wasn't the only messed up one. Definitely true.Erf-b3-p297Same-site.PNG

Bill's internal monologue is full of rhyming doggerel couplets. These may represent his abnormal thought processes, or they could be a kind of natural Rhyme-o-mancy.

Rhymey timey, life of crime-y.
Could've stepped out anytime-y.Erf-b3-p297Same-site.PNG


Many hundredturns before the death of Don King, Bill worked together with Bunny (an Adept Thinkamancer at the time) to try to make dolls with Life.Erf-b3-p165Same-site.PNG With permission from Prince Ponzie, they linked and created the "Fashion Bunny" doll. This doll could talk, and Bunny could see and hear through its senses.

When Bunny revealed this to the Great Minds, they bound her, forbidding her to discuss Thinkamancy secrets with anyone, or to discuss the doll with Bill, upon pain of becoming Bad.

Bill did not know why Bunny stopped helping him (she was not allowed to tell him why). To try to regain her attention, Bill began touching the doll in increasingly intimate and inappropriate ways. Bunny was unable to tell anyone about this abuse, and tried to block it out, but could not do so while she slept. This caused her to lose sleep, becoming increasingly tired and ineffective.

One day, during a critical battle, she dropped a Thinkagram, costing Transylvito the battle. That night, she told everything to Prince Ponzie (who was her lover at the time), and became a Baddie. Ponzie took revenge upon Bill, inflicting physical (possibly sexual) punishment for at least 10 consecutive nights. In Caesar's estimate, Ponzie "mighta been a sicker flip than Bill".Erf-b3-p165Same-site.PNG

Much later, Bill created Makaleka in the same way as Fashion Bunny, using the G-strings (and/or H-strings) of Maggie, who was a prisoner at the time, without Maggie's consent. He used Makaleka/Maggie in ways similar to Fashion Bunny/real Bunny, ways which Maggie described as "inhumane".Erf-b3-p183Same-site.PNG

When Parson learned of this, he viewed Bill as a "rapist", a word that is normally censored in Erfworld, but which is recognizable to those who hear it. After Gobwin Knob and Transylvito became allied, Parson called Bill a rapist in Caesar's presence. Caesar confined Bill to his quarters.

When Makaleka ordered two dolls to kill Roger Victor Clarence, Caesar ordered Bill to report immediately to the portal room to explain.Erf-b3-p297Same-site.PNG On the way, he received a series of Thinkagrams from Charlie, who promised to help Bill make "real dolls".Erf-b3-p301Same-site.PNG They linked, and together they made a change to Caesar's pendant, making it a "fail-safe".Erf-b3-p306Same-site.PNG Charlie promised Bill he would be allowed to turn to Charlescomm.

When Huehue awakened, Bill freaked out, and started to turn to Charlescomm prematurely.Erf-b3-p306Same-site.PNG Charlie was barely able to reestablish the link in time, and through it he cast another spell that made all of Transylvito's dolls turn to Charlescomm along with Bill. Caesar's pendant was activated,Erf-b3-p303Same-site.PNG and began to strangle Caesar, rendering him incapacitated. Bill took Caesar prisoner.Erf-b3-p304Same-site.PNG


Real World References

Bill is heavy with Signamancy.

The name Doller Bill is obviously a pun on the dollar bill.

Bill's behavior is a reference to "Buffalo Bill," serial killer in the movie The Silence of the Lambs, who keeps his victims in a pit in the basement and tells them "it puts the lotion on its skin".

Infamous serial killer Jack the Ripper was initially called "Leather Apron", for one he reputedly wore.

Greensight goggles are an obvious reference to modern-day night vision goggles, specifically the ones worn by Sam Fisher from Splinter Cell game series. The name is a reference to extrasensory greensight from A Song of Fire and Ice. (Night vision goggles also tie in with Buffalo Bill, mentioned above; the serial killer wears them in the film's climax.)

Bill's monster is a reference to the deformed dolls of the meme This Isn't Even My Final Form.

Bill's passion for "real Dolls" is a reference to RealDolls, a brand of life-size sex dolls.